The same, but different
by BailsHunter 18
Summary: Andric is the twin brother of Tris Prior. What happens when they choose Dauntless and have to compete against each other? Will it ruin their brother and sister bond, or will it make it stronger? Or will something more sinister get in the way?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, I'm Bailey Hunter 18 and this is my first Divergent fanfiction, so take it easy on me. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent or the characters.**

Chapter one – The aptitude test

Today is the day of the test. The test that will tell me which faction I belong in. Me, my twin sister, Beatrice, and my older brother, Caleb who is hardly a year older than us will be choosing the faction we are most suited for tomorrow. The choice we choose will be the one we cannot change.

My mother is cutting my sister's hair in the hallway, I walk slowly up the stairs to see her twisting Beatrice's hair in a knot on the back of her head and then pins it into place. I glance at the mirror and see my sisters blue eyes looking back at me and then smiles.

We are different, we don't belong in Abnegation.

My mother smiles at us.

"Today is the day," she says.

Beatrice replies with a yes, and I just give a small nod.

"Are you two nervous?"

I nod again, but my sister says no. How can she not be nervous? My palms are sweaty and I have butterflies in my stomach. Yet, Beatrice is perfectly fine with it. My mother pats me on the shoulder lightly.

"You'll do fine," she says. "Right. Let's go get some breakfast."

Breakfast… I was meant to set the table and… didn't. I slowly, but quickly go down stairs into the kitchen before my mother and Beatrice. I see that Caleb is still making breakfast and that the table has already been set. I look across the room, my father looks up from his newspaper and smiles at me knowingly. I bow my head and take a seat.

Abnegation is not my faction. I'm not selfless enough to be here.

* * *

The bus jolts every time it goes over a pothole in the road. I sit next to Beatrice, while Caleb stands to let a Candor man take his seat, like any perfect Abnegation person would. I can't help thinking about what the test will entail. What if it tells me that I don't belong anywhere? What will I do then? Becoming Factionless wouldn't be an option for me, basically they're hollow human beings with nowhere to go. I shake the thought out of my head and wipe my sweaty palms on my trousers then close my eyes until we arrive at the school.

* * *

The tests start after lunch. Everyone sits at the long tables in the cafeteria, and the people that are administrating the tests call out names of ten people at a time. I sit opposite Caleb who is sitting next to Beatrice. My neighbour, Susan Black sits to the right of me, patiently waiting for her turn. Caleb is called out first out of us.

One of my legs bounces up and down with nerves, I place a hand on it to stop the tremor. I try to stay calm, Beatrice looks over at me with a reassuring smile that I return. She closes her eyes to relax herself. I glance over at the other tables, Dauntless – Bravery, Erudite – Knowledge, Amity – Peace and Candor – honesty. They all value something, but what will my test tell me to value?

After about ten minutes of waiting, Caleb comes back and sits down next to Beatrice. Her name is then called, but as she gets up, her footing is unsteady. Behind that solemn mask she wears, I can tell that she is just as nervous as I am. Once she and Susan leave, I'm once again alone in my thoughts, while Caleb stares blankly back at me.

"Andric Prior," says an Abnegation volunteer, I stand along with another person from Abnegation and follow the volunteer to the exit. I stop outside of a room labelled 'number 5', then walk through the door.

An Erudite man no older than eighteen, sits at the other end of the room near a chair that looks as if it belongs to a dentist. He has kind blue eyes, which are protected with a thin framed pair of glasses that rest on the bridge of his thin nose.

"Hello, I'm Kendry," he says, his voice is soft, just above a whisper.

"H-hi."

"Come take a seat," he says, I close the door before I sit in the 'Dentist chair'. I place my head back on the headrest, and look up to the plain white ceiling. Kendry attaches an electrode to my forehead, pressing it down gently. He presses one to his own forehead, attaching a wire to it.

"Drink this," he hands me a small vile of liquid. I don't question it, I just knock it back. The bitter taste of it makes my face contort. My eyes slowly start to close.

* * *

My eyes open a moment later, I look around and see that Kendry is gone, and I'm back in the cafeteria.

"Choose." A woman's voice says.

Two baskets appear, one with a knife and one with a big lump of cheese.

"B-but what if you don't choose?" I say.

"Choose!" The voice says again.

"No."

"Have it your way," she says.

The baskets disappear, and I hear a squeak coming from behind me. I turn around and see a dog. A growling, vicious looking dog. I now understand why the options of a knife and cheese were offered. The dog inches toward me, still growling with drool dripping from its mouth. I know I shouldn't look it in the eye because it's a sign of aggression. They can smell fear, but I'm not afraid of it because I know that it isn't real. I kneel down to the dog's level to show that I am not a threat and that I submit. It is so close to me, I close my eyes hoping I'm right about it not being real. I open my eyes, the growling has stopped and the once aggressive dog is now licking my cheek. I smile, and scratch it behind its ear.

"You're not that b-bad," I chuckle.

"Puppy!" Squeals a little girl that appear from nowhere.

I turn back to the dog, its head is turned and instead of growling it barks at her. The girl screams then runs as fast as she can with the dog chasing after her. I speed up and lunge myself in front of the dog grabbing the girl and pulling us both out of the way.

The scenery around me changes, I'm on a bus standing in the middle of the aisle holding on to a pole to keep me standing. The seats on the bus have all been taken. A man that is seated near me is reading a newspaper.

"Do you know this guy?" He asks. He taps the picture on the newspaper. The headline on the page reads: 'Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended!' The word 'murderer' stands out in my mind. I look at the picture of the man. I feel like I do know him, but don't know how. A feeling of dread sits in my stomach, it might not be a good idea to say I know him.

"Well? Do you?" His voice is filled with anger.

"No, I've never seen him b-before"

He stands revealing his face, scarred and wrinkled. He leans closer to me, his breath reeks of old cigarettes. I lean back away from him.

"You're lying," he says. "You're _lying!"_

"No I'm _not."_

"If you know him, you could save me!"

"Sorry, but I don't."

* * *

I wake up. I'm back in the testing room, Kendry is staring at me strangely. Did I fail the test? But how can I fail something I can't study for?

"Did–did I do something wrong?" I ask.

"Uh, well," he says, "wait here a minute." He leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

I wipe my sweaty hands on my trousers, unsure of what else to do. What if he comes back and tells me that I'm not good enough to be in any faction? My stomach is in knots and my head is fuzzy. I hear the door creak open, Kendry walks in biting his lip.

"Andric," he says whilst closing the door, "your results were inconclusive."

"What do you mean?"

He comes closer, "it means that you don't just fit into one faction."

"That's impossible," I say.

He shakes his head. "Each stage in the simulation is supposed to eliminate one or more factions, but it only eliminated three for you."

I blink.

"Because you didn't choose the cheese, Amity was ruled out. But you didn't choose the knife either, but you didn't run from the dog which is a Dauntless response. The way you handled the dog situation was a strong Erudite response. The way you got yourself and the girl out of the way, also suggests Dauntless and Erudite because it was a smart and brave move. But because you didn't fully sacrifice yourself for the girl, Abnegation was ruled due to that and because when the man told you that the truth would save him you still refused to tell the truth which also made Candor a no. Meaning that your results came out inconclusive." He explains.

"What – How?" My brain is still trying to process this.

"You're Divergent," he says, quietly. "It's a good job I think you're a nice guy because I really should report you, but I didn't – couldn't."

"So, what was my result and why would you need to report me?" I ask, panicked.

"Calm down, you have an equal aptitude for Dauntless and Erudite. I manually edited your results, so if anyone asks you got Dauntless. Divergents are considered dangerous, your mind doesn't work in the same way. Under any circumstances do _not_ tell anyone about it."

All I can do is nod stupidly.

"Now, I'm going to send you out of the back exit. The serum made you ill." He winks at me and I give him a knowing look.

* * *

As I walk home I think about what Kendry had said about what I was. Divergent. My results made it clear that I am different. The factions Erudite and Dauntless fill my mind with dread, I didn't even get an Abnegation aptitude. I shake my head trying to stay calm, I mean it's not as if I have to make the biggest decision of my life tomorrow.

I'm halfway home when I see an Abnegation girl talking to a factionless man. As I get closer I realise that it is Beatrice and that the factionless man is holding her tightly by the wrist. I frown and speed up, she tries to yank her hand away. I can't help but think how small she looks compared to the man.

"Hey, let her go!" I yell and they both turn their heads. He lets her go, but I hear him say something about choosing wisely before he leaves.

"Are y-you alright?" I ask, finally at her side.

"I was handling it, Andric. I knew what I was doing," she says.

"It really looked like it," I chuckle lightly. She smiles and nudges my arm.

"What are you doing out early?" She asks arching a brow.

"The serum made me sick," I lie.

"Me too," she says quietly.

I nod, frowning a little

Is she Divergent like me?

* * *

 **Hi again, just wanted to say that I hope you liked it and if you did, it be nice if you told my what you thought :) maybe?**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two – The choosing ceremony and the jump to Dauntless

My hands won't stop shaking, I don't want to make the wrong choice today. Erudite or Dauntless? Erudite don't particularly like Abnegation, I don't think I would want to go there anyway. Besides I don't think I would be smart enough during their initiation. Dauntless are brave, fearless and completely crazy. But the question is am I brave.

I look at my family as we make our way to the hub. Beatrice is holding onto Caleb's arm for support as they walk up the front steps. Our parents are in front while I trail behind them. There is a huge crowd of people surrounding the elevator, my father offers a bunch of Amity our place in line. Instead we take the stairs all the way to the twentieth floor with the rest of Abnegation. Soon enough we are engulfed in a mass of people from Abnegation. Everyone is so close to each other I get a few nudges to my shoulders while passing through. I feel suffocated with the lack of space to move. I stand on my tiptoes and find Beatrice among the crowd, and I weave in and out of people to get to her.

She is out of breath like I am, her face is a tad flushed. She hasn't noticed me, so I tap her on the shoulder. She smiles, though I can tell it is forced, and looks more like a grimace. Finally we reach the twentieth floor.

We have arrange ourselves in alphabetical order, Beatrice stands behind Caleb and in front me. I try to keep calm, and tell myself that everything will be fine. My parents come over and stand in front of Caleb, Beatrice and me. My father kisses Beatrice's head then places a hand on Caleb's shoulder. He looks over at me and smiles. Caleb is his pride. Beatrice is his joy, and I am his back up in case something bad happens to the other two.

"See you soon," he says. He looks certain that he will.

My mother smiles at me, her eyes crinkled at the corners to prove it is real. She hugs my sister for what seems like a very long time, then leaves to take her seat with my father.

The room begins to quiet down. Marcus Eaton the leader of Abnegation stand at the front and talks for what seems like forever. I zone out after the first few sentences. I get startled when everyone starts clapping their hands. He must have finished because he is now calling out names. One by one people get called up and cut their hand dripping their blood into one of the five bowls. Grey stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, earth for Amity, lit coals for Dauntless, and glass for Candor.

Out of the three of us Caleb gets called out fist. He had chosen Erudite, I was sure that he would have chosen Abnegation. He had fooled everyone, great acting skills I must say.

"Beatrice Prior."

She turns to me, smiles then walks to the centre of the room. Her hand shakes as she takes the knife. She looks so tiny standing on the stage, her fist hovers over the grey stones, but before the blood drips her fist moves to the Dauntless coals. She glances at me as she makes her way over to Dauntless.

I'm next, but I can't find the will to move. My body is numb and my hands are shaking. I get nudged by the person behind me to move. Finally I step up and onto the stage, Marcus hands me the knife, and I take it with a wobbly hand praying that I don't drop it. I cut my palm, and the blood oozes out of the small wound. I can feel everyone's eyes staring at the back of my head. My blood hits the lit coals with a sizzle. Dauntless. I chose Dauntless.

I make my way over and stand next to Beatrice and the other Dauntless initiates. We wait until the last few people choose, and then it is time to leave. I see Beatrice looking over her shoulder, she is looking for our parents. By the guilty expression on her face I guess she found them. I try not to, but I glance over and wish that I hadn't, my father's hurt expression makes me feel sick. My mother just smiles, how can she be happy when she has just lost all three of her children?

The sea of Dauntless lead us to the stairs, and start running down them as fast as they can. I hear shouting and people laughing. They aren't taking the stairs to be selfless they are taking them for fun. I loose Beatrice in the swarm of Dauntless. I start running down the stairs at first almost falling down them, but I get the rhythm in my feet and start running faster. I see some of the Dauntless taking two and three steps at a time.

We run out of the exit, the cool air hits my face gently as I run. We sprint down the street and hear a faint sound of a horn. As it gets closer I see what it is: the train. It speeds along the track, the crowd spreads out along the train track, waiting for it to get closer. All of the doors on the train are open and the Dauntless pile in. I find Beatrice farther up on the track, she is running faster than I am. If I don't make it onto the train I will become factionless. I can feel my legs getting tired and my chest and lungs are burning from running.

Beatrice is on the train already. It's now or never. I jump and grab one of the handles, my muscles tense as I struggle to pull myself into the cart. I grin widely – like an idiot, I made it. I make my way through to the cart that my sister is on. She is sitting on the floor with a Candor girl with dark brown skin and short hair, her long legs are sprawled on the floor. She's pretty, very pretty in fact. I find myself staring at her for too long.

"Staring won't give you the power to see through my clothes," she says.

"I-I wasn't – I didn't I." I avert my eyes stepping to the side and end up knocking into a boy from Candor.

"Hey, watch it stiff!" A Candor boy mutters, pushing me back roughly.

"S-sorry," I say to the both of them.

The Candor girl laughs, "I was just messing with you. The look on your face." Beatrice joins in. I feel my cheeks heat up.

"Christina this is my brother, Andric."

Christina smiles a sincere smile, "it's nice to meet you, Andy or do you prefer Rick?"

She is staring at me now, and waiting for an answer. I clear my throat, "Andy is f-fine," I say. She nods, and then begins to talk to my sister again. I take a seat on the floor of the train leaning back, and take in the appearance of my sister: her hair is half out of her knot, it must have happened while she was running, and her cheeks are a rosy red.

* * *

About half an hour later I hear shouting, "They're jumping off!" an Erudite boy yells. I make my way over to the other side of the cart standing by the door, and see the Dauntless jumping from the train and onto the roof of a tall building. My stomach wrenches, 'I signed up for death,' I think to myself. I hear voices but they are muffled because my ears are being taken over by a buzzing sound.

I don't mind the height, or the jump it's just the thought of tumbling to my death that's the scary part. I see Beatrice and Christina take hold of each other's hands. 1…2…3 and they jump. I take a few steps back, and then take a deep breath before running and leaping off of the train. I land awkwardly, grazing my knees and the palms of my hands.

I hear laughing, I notice that I landed not far from my sister and Christina. My palms and knees sting, there is a hole in my left trouser leg and I can see blood and dirt in the wound. I note that I will have to clean it later.

Someone obviously didn't make it as there is a crowd leaning over the roof to see who it was. The thought of death makes me uneasy. Just think that if I didn't make it, that could have been me at the bottom of the building with my head caved in.

"Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of this faction!" shouts a man, with a dark completion and grey hair at his temples. He stands at the other side of the roof. Max explains that we have to jump again to make it into the Dauntless compound and that if we don't do the jump we don't belong here.

My sister is the one bravest to go first and then Christina goes after. My steps are uneven as I make my way to the ledge and jump from it. I go down fast with my limbs flying in the air. There is a funny feeling in my tummy and then I land on a hard bouncy net. Hands grab my arms and help me off.

"Another stiff, what is going on?" Says a woman with dark hair and piercings in her eyebrow.

"What's your name?" Asks a tall man.

"And… Andy," I say finally, smiling.

"Welcome to Dauntless." I nod and make my way over to my sister.

This is my new life.

* * *

 **Hi, tell me what you guys think :) Hopefully, the next chapter should be up by Monday if everything goes to plan and if not Tuesday at the latest. Reviews are appreciated :) thank you**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three – The Dauntless tour

When everyone is finally on the floor below, the Dauntless leaders lead us through a tunnel made of grey stone, and has a sloped ceiling making me feel as if I am going deeper, and deeper into the heart of the Dauntless compound. It is dimly lit by small lanterns, it is quite dark down here and someone keeps standing on the back of my heel, causing my shoe to come off slightly. I try to adjust it without either falling over or falling into someone, which I actually manage.

We stop and get spilt up into Dauntless and transfer initiates. The Dauntless get pared up with the woman with piercings and we are put with the tall angry looking man that helped me off of the net. Most of the initiates are originally form Dauntless any way and once they leave there is only ten of us transfers - 3 from Erudite – 5 form Candor and 2 from Abnegation.

"Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor," the man says. "My name is Four."

"Four? Like the number?" Christina asks.

"Yes," Four days. "Have you got a problem with that?"

"No."

"Good. We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It –"

"The pit? Cleaver name." Christina interrupts again.

Four gets right up close to her, narrowed cold blue eyes stare straight into her chocolate brown ones.

"What's your name?" He ask quietly.

"Christian," she says so quietly I hardly hear her.

"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart – mouths, I would have joined their faction," he snaps. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

She nods, and I nod subconsciously, Four gives me a strange look before he carries on walking through the tunnel. I remind myself to never get on his bad side. We reach the end of the tunnel, and Four pushes a set of double doors open to the place he had called the Pit. It is a big cavern made of uneven rock and stone. On the rocky walls are things that represent shelves to store clothes, food and other supplies. There are narrow paths and steps that have been carved into the rocks, there aren't any railings to prevent people from falling off.

"If you follow me," Four says, "I'll show you the chasm."

He leads us to the right side of the pit which is extremely dark, I mean really, really dark. I hate the dark, my breathing hitches, and I tug the hem of my jacket for some kind of comfort. We reach the chasm, I hear a roaring and crashing of water splashing off the sides of pointed rocks. I look over the rails and see that there is a river below.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" Four shouts to be heard over the crashing sound of water. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life." I don't get to hear the rest of what he says because of the loud sound of gushing water that over takes his voice.

Four then leads us out of the Pit through a gaping hole in the wall. The room beyond it has lights thank goodness. I look closer and it seems to be a dining hall, it is full of Dauntless who stand up when we enter. They applaud. They shout and stop their feet. The noise rings in my ears. I smile.

I lose my sister in the crowd, again. I find a table with two boys that are in my initiation group.

"Is it, uh, al – alright if I sit here?" I ask, shyly. They both look at me weirdly, before nodding.

"I'm Will," he says, sticking out his hand in front of me, I shake it. He has shaggy blonde hair and celery green eyes. Even when is sitting down I can tell he is quite tall and he is wearing a blue jacket - Erudite. "This is Al," he says motioning his thumb to a large boy sitting next to him wearing black and white – Candor. The boy nods his head as his mouth is too full to speak.

"I-I'm Andy," I say. It feels weird not saying my full name, Andric – it's just Andy now. I smile and fill my plate with food that I haven't seen, or eaten before. I pick up a piece of round meat that Will said was a hamburger, he told me to put some red stuff on it called ketchup. Surprisingly it tasted really good.

* * *

After dinner, Four is no longer showing us around, and instead a boy with long dark hair, no older than us leads us down a series of long hallways without saying a word. No one speaks.

He stops in front of a wooden door and folds his arms. Everyone gathers around him and wait for him to speak.

"For those of you that don't know, my name is Eric," he says. "I am one of the five leaders at Dauntless. We take the initiation very seriously here, so I volunteered to oversee your training." He smirked causing piercings in his lips to move slightly.

I feel sick, him oversee our training. That can't be good. He stares at me, but I turn my head and lower my eyes. I hear him snigger at my action.

"Some ground rules," he says. "You must be in the training room by eight o'clock every day. Training is every day from eight to six with a break for lunch."

We also get breaks in-between the stages of initiation. We are not permitted to leave without a Dauntless member. The room we have has ten beds just enough, even though we started out with thirteen transfers.

"At the end of your initiation your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless born initiates. And they are already better than you lot."

"Why are we ranked?" Asks an Erudite girl with mousy brown hair.

"Your ranking has two purposes," he says. "The first is to determine what job will be available to you after initiation."

My stomach twists, _only a few desirable position available._

"The second purpose is that only the top ten initiates will become members," he smirks again.

My heart and stomach sink. Altogether there are twenty-one initiates, and only ten of them have to be good enough to become a member.

"Four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test." He explains. If we are cut we will become factionless.

"You chose us," he says. "Now we get to choose you."

* * *

After we get changed into the clothes the Dauntless provided. I wear a pair of black jeans and a black long sleeved T-shirt that clings to my slender body.

It's late and most of the initiates are already fast asleep. I can't seem to settle properly, I lay awake in my bed, all I can hear is a faint sound of crying from the other side of the room. I toss and turn for a while, wondering how far I will make it in initiation. My eyes slowly begin to close and I drift off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four – Guns and Practise

I wake up to the sound of someone's snoring. I rub the sleep put of my eyes, and sit up in my bed. It's still a bit dark so I have to squint to try and read the numbers on my watch; 5:32 am. I groan slightly, wishing that the snoring would stop so I could get back to sleep.

I decide to get up out of bed, and make my way over to the bathroom. My eyes still feel droopy, I turn on the cold tap and splash the cold water on my face, which wakes me up at bit more. There is a mirror above the sink but I don't look at my reflection. I let the water drip off of my face for a few seconds before I dry it with paper towels.

Last night was my first official night at the Dauntless compound, and I have to say that it was quite rough. Tossing and turning all-night, but I think it was just because I'm a little homesick. I know it hasn't really been a real day at Dauntless yet, but I've noticed that Tris hasn't really spoken to me properly. Maybe it's because she is just trying to make friends, or it could be because she is a little embarrassed to have her brother in Dauntless with her.

The door to the bathroom opens, it's Al. I peer over my shoulder and take in his appearance; his eyes are all puffy and red his face is streaked with dried tears, he must have been the person that I heard crying last night.

He doesn't look me in the in the eye, he just walks straight past me, and into one of the toilet stalls. His face was flushed I guess he thought the room would be un-occupied. Al must obviously be more homesick than I am.

I sigh before leaving the room, I hear a sniffle as I close the door behind me.

* * *

"The first lesson you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." Four hands out guns down the line of initiates, once he places one in my hand I immediately feel like I don't trust myself with it. A loaded gun and a clumsy initiate, God help us.

"Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that."

My eyes are fixed on the gun in my trembling hands, I can't even walk in a straight line never mind shooting a gun at a target.

"Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time."

We could improve our ranking? But there is a slim chance of that happening, what am I going to do if I can't boost it up in time? I can't live factionless… I just can't. I look around me, farther down the line I notice that Tris is just staring at her gun with a worried expression on her face. I know how she feels, she's afraid that she could do some harm to someone with it, even though she has no intention to do so. I know that because that's how I feel too.

"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the mist of fear." Four says as he walks back up the line. "Therefore each of the stages are intended to prepare you in different ways."

He had explained what the stages are – first is physical – second is emotional – and the third is mental.

"But what…" The Candor boy known as Peter yawns. "What does firing a gun have anything to do with bravery?"

Four walks up to him and flips the gun in his hand, pressing it against Peter's head. Peter freezes with fear as Four clicks the bullet into place.

"Wake. Up," Four snarls, narrowing his cold eyes. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it." He lowers the gun away from Peter's head slowly. Peter's green eyes darken slightly once Four moves it away from him. His cheeks hold a pink tinge, clearly from the embarrassment of being held at gun point in front of everyone.

"And to answer your question… you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself." Four says, he stops walking and turns around to look down the line. "This is also information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me." He turns so that he is facing the target which is a square piece of plywood with three red circles in the middle of it, there is one for each of us. Four stands with his feet firmly on the ground but inches apart from each other. He holds his gun in his steady hands, and then fires it. The shot sound makes me flinch a little, and it rings in my ears. The middle circle of the target had been hit with the bullet.

Four gives us the heads up to start firing at our target. I don't shoot straight away, I wait. I put my hand out in front of me, they are shaking slightly. I spread my feet apart and place my finger on the trigger but don't squeeze it. Someone on the left of me nudges my shoulder.

"What are you waiting for Stiff? Shoot the target! That's if you can actually find it," Peter taunts and I hear a couple of people laugh. Though I still don't shoot. My heart is going so fast that I can hear the blood whooshing through my ears, it's like the sound of waves crashing on to the rocks in the chasm.

"Do it, Stiff! Make the shot!" Peter had only managed to shoot two shots in a row without missing. He was putting me under pressure. I close my eyes so tight, and turn my head then fire three times at my target. By this point everyone had stopped shooting, I slowly open my eyes and see that every bullet that I had fired actually hit the target. _How did I manage that?_ I lower my gun, looking around me I see that Four is staring at me, his eyes are cold and his jaw is locked. Slowly, he walks up to me, I can feel everyone's eyes on me.

 _You're fine, he'll just be coming over to tell you well done_. I reassure myself.

"What do you think you were doing?" He asks, quietly. I'm confused, he told us to fire a gun and I did, what did I do wrong?

"Answer the question Stiff," his voice even lower than before.

I shrug my shoulders, "I-I hit the t-target," I say unable to look him in the eyes.

"Yeah I can see that, but you had your eyes closed! Would you close your eyes while crossing the road?" He asks folding his arms over his chest.

"N-no I –"

"So what makes you think you can fire a dangerous weapon focusing on your target with your eyes shut?" He says, looking down on me shaking his head.

I don't answer.

"Try shooting with your eyes open this time Stiff," is all he says before he walks back down the line.

I try again, but with my eyes open. I would end up hitting then missing. But at least my bullets would actually make it to the target. Tris wasn't doing so well in the beginning, but she's getting there now.

We break for lunch, I sit with Tris, Christina and Al. Every time I see his face now I can't help but think about his red puffy red eyes and tear streaked cheeks. I lower my gaze from the mass that is Al. We find seats near middle of the dining hall. I'm not really that hungry, so I just decided to get a chocolate muffin and pick bits off of it.

I notice that Tris is just moving her peas around on her plate, something is clearly bothering her, but I'm not sure what it is. Her head is propped up with her hand.

Al and Christina are talking about Maths class or something, I don't really tune into that.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask Tris, I don't stutter around her as much for some reason, but I'm glad.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm just thinking about stuff," she says quietly still playing with her food.

"W-what kind of stuff?"

"Personal stuff," she smiles.

"Oh, I see. Girl stuff," I say, smirking.

"What? No not that kind of stuff," I blush slightly, she giggles.

Will comes over, "can I sit here?" He asks tapping the table with his index finger.

"What, you don't want to sit with your Erudite buddies?" Christina says, with a smirk.

"Just because we were in the same faction doesn't mean we're buddies. Besides I didn't want to be the third wheel.

I look over to the table that Edward and Myra are sitting at. They are kissing each other passionately on the lips. I haven't really seen a real kiss before let alone have one. I often wonder what it would be like to have someone kiss me, but I doubt that would ever happen.

Tris is complaining about kissing in public, I smirk, you can take the girl out of Abnegation, but you can't take the Abnegation out of the girl.

* * *

After lunch, Four leads us to a room we haven't seen before now. It is massive, with a wooden floor that makes a funny creaking noise when you walk on a certain floor board. There is a big chalkboard on the wall at the left side of the room. The board has our names on it in alphabetical order.

"As I said this morning," Four says, "next you will learn how to fight."

He says that fighting will help prepare our body to respond to any threats and challenges that we should encounter. It will also help us defend ourselves during life in Dauntless.

We will fight tomorrow, so Four shows us some fighting techniques while naming them. Then we practice them on the punching backs at the back of the room.

I punch and kick the bag couple of times, my knuckles and knees are already scuffed after the first few punches. Four walks past with his hands behind his back.

"Make sure you keep your eyes open," he says before leaving to watch someone else. I roll my eyes, but can't help chuckling a little at the remark.

I look over at him and see that he has his hand around Tris's stomach, my fists tighten and I punch the bag harder, until my fists bleed. No one touches my sister like that even if he was just helping her.

Four dismisses us, Al decided he wanted to get a tattoo and went with everyone else to the parlour. I didn't feel like going, so I said that I would meet them later. The walk to the dormitory was quiet, and I kinda got a bit lost. When I get there it is empty, I lay in my bed thinking about anything and everything.

I think about Tris, she has always been good with people, and seems to make friends easier than I can. I was the one always getting bullied at school and my only friend I had was my sister, now that she is making new friends here I feel lonely without her. Maybe I'm just being selfish. Or I'm being paranoid, but I know that nothing can change our friendship. I just wish I knew that I have made the right decision by choosing Dauntless.

* * *

 **Hi, hope you liked that chapter, let me know what you think :) your reviews are very much appreciated thank you :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, I just wanted to say a really big thank you to you guys for the support on this story. I really appreciate it :D thank you. I always love to hear what you guys have to say, your reviews are always welcome :)**

* * *

Chapter five – Beat downs

I lay on my bed on top of the covers, my knuckles sting, they're all bloodied and bruised. The watch on my wrist bleeps, 7:30pm it reads. I have been lying by myself in the dormitory for about an hour, I'm not complaining, I got some peace and quiet.

The dormitory door opens, Will, Christina and Al walk through laughing. I smile and wonder what tattoo Al decided to get. Where's Tris? I ask myself as I sit up.

"Hey, Andy come here a minute. I want to show you something," Christina says, excitedly.

I walk over to them waiting for them to explain what Christina is so excited about.

"Okay, Tris come in."

My sister slowly walks through the door, once she is fully in the room I notice that she is wearing a knee length black dress. Though, she has hardly any curves it brings out her slim figure nicely. She has her long blonde hair down, so it flows over her shoulders. Her blue-grey eyes are brighter and bluer than usual due to the make up around her eyes.

"What do you think?" Christina asks with a smile.

I'm about to answer when my eyes trail down to her collar bone. There are four little black birds with their wings spread to make it look like they're flying across her bone. A tattoo.

"Well?" Tris says quietly.

"You got a-a tattoo?" I ask even though I can see that she did.

She nods, "do you like it? They're Ravens, each one represents one of my family. That one there is you." She points to the last bird.

I smile, "you look b-beautiful, Tris. You don't need make up to prove that th-though." I say. "And I like the last Raven the b-best," I chuckle.

Her smile widens and her eyes brighten.

 _No one needs make up to be beautiful. Beauty comes from within the heart of its owner. If only all people thought that way about it._ I think to myself.

* * *

In the morning we make our way to the arena Four showed us the other day.

"Since there is an even number of you, you will all be fighting today," Four explains. He moves away from the black board, there is a list of names on each side to show who we will be fighting against.

I look at the board, Al will be fighting Will, and Christina will be fighting Molly. I scan the board searching for my name.

Andy v Tris

That can't be right, there must be a mistake!

I see that Four stands in the corner of the room talking to Eric. I make my way over to them, frowning and with my hands in fists.

I wait until they notice me.

Eric rolls his eyes. "What is it Stiff?" He mutters.

"You're m-making me fight my sister?!" I ask angrily, my fists tighten.

"Look, Stiff here at Dauntless we believe that you must overcome obstacles to be brave. Your obstacle right now is your sister." He smirks, his face is pure evil.

"I don't want to h-hurt her!"

"Well then, if you are not willing to fight her, then you clearly don't belong here."

I frown, and I feel his hard stone cold eyes stare straight back into my soul, like he could turn me in to stone at any second.

"Eric, maybe we could just change his opponent," Four suggests.

"No! He needs to learn that life isn't as easy as that." He snaps.

"Fine!" I say and storm off.

Tris is still looking at the board with her arms folded. "Tris, I can we talk for a m-minute?" She nods and leads us to one of the benches.

"I don't care if you hurt me okay? I just don't want to hurt you. All I'm telling you is to win no matter w-what," I say seriously, staring her straight in the eyes.

"But I don't –"

"Please, if you do I'll let you choose m-my first tattoo," I plead.

She gives me her sad eyes.

"I can't bring myself to hurt you, Tris. But one us h-has to lose and I-I don't want it to be you."

She nods half-heartedly, her face says it all.

Will got knocked out by Al and he had to go to the medical arena to get patched up. Molly won Christina because she conceded, which Eric wasn't best pleased with.

"Stiff one and Stiff two, time to fight," Eric announces, folding his arms. I grit my teeth, he doesn't even have the decency to use our real names, I think bitterly.

Four stands in the corner of the arena, watching from the side lines.

We make our way to the fighting mat, standing at opposite sides. My breathing is uneven, and Eric's smirk makes me uneasy. I'm starting to regret eating the piece of cake I had for breakfast.

Tris pulls her arms up to shield herself as do I a moment later. I tighten my fists and then loosen them slightly, we pivot around the mat for a few minutes.

"This is meant to be a fight, not a dance performance! Now fight!" Eric yells. I don't look at him, I keep my eyes on my sister. She has her feet parted and her arms are protecting her face. I nod at her.

She comes close and I let her punch me, her tiny fist hits my stomach, hard enough for a groan to escape my lips. I lightly punch her shoulder, which does nothing. This carries on for another ten minutes. None of us had gone down yet, we hadn't really done much damage to each other.

"My God, this is worse than Al's fight. Girl Stiff get out of the ring, Edward get in," Eric says. "Let's at least make it a bit more interesting than the two Stiff's dancing around like fairies."

I feel my forehead crease, it's not until now that I realise how tall Edward is. I gulp as he gets on the mat. Tris is watching with Christina. She is biting her lip, a habit that she has when she is nervous.

"Fight properly Stiff!"

Eric is my least favourite person right now.

Edward stand 6ft tall, towering over my 5ft 6 wimpy frame. I bring my arms up for protection. Edward seems like the strongest transfer initiate here. He smirks as his fist comes at my face, striking me in the jaw making me lose my balance and fall. I try to get myself up, but then I get swift kick to the stomach. Because I'm on the ground there is not much I can do, his leg is close to my mouth. I close my eyes and bite down hard.

"AHH! He bit me!" Edward exclaims, grabbing his leg. Eric just shrugs his shoulders, "do something about it then!"

I drag myself from the ground, and charge at him. He moves out the way before I could get him and I land back on the floor. _Well this is going just great._ Edward hauls me up by the material of my t-shirt, connecting his fist with my face several times. My cheeks are wet, I'm not sure if its sweat or tears, but I don't care if I cry, I can't stop the tears if I can help it.

I feel dizzy, and weak all I want to do is sleep. Blood dribbles from my nose and over my lips. I cough up a bit of it and spit it on the mat.

He is about to punch me again when,

"That's enough! Stop it! Stop!" Tris yells, her brittle voice lingers in my ears. He stops and drops me, and I land in a heap on the floor in a puddle of my own blood.

"You're dismissed! Four get the Stiff," Eric says walking out of the arena with initiates.

I hear Four walking up to me and then he kneels down.

"Now if you had just fought your sister like you were meant to, you wouldn't be on the floor right now," he says softly.

I didm't wamt ta hert her," I say, sounding completely inaudible, even to myself. My eyes drift shut and everything goes black.

* * *

I wake up in the hospital arena, sitting at the bottom of the bed is Tris and Christina.

"Hey, you're awake. How you feeling?" Tris says, placing a hand over mine.

"Sore," is all I manage to choke out. I ach everywhere, and it's hard to breath. I can't see out of one of my eyes because it's that swollen.

"I can't believe you bit him, we're gonna have to start calling you Vampire Stiff." Christina laughs.

They had told me that Eric had made her hang over the chasm for a full five minutes. Eric is a piece of work. Someone needs to stand up to that big bully.

"We're going to go get some dinner, we'll be back later," Tris says. She gets up off the bed as does Christina.

"I'll come too," I say, trying to get up, but then a twinge of pain runs up my body making me groan in pain.

"You stay here and rest. We'll come back don't worry," she says and I nod.

When they leave I close my eyes, letting sleep take over.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi, guys I just like to say thank you for your reviews they make me happy when I read them hehe :)**

 **I thought it would be a good/fun little way to get you more involved and get to know the character more to add questions at the end of a chapter so you can state your opinions :) if it goes well and you like it I might have more for the next chapter :)**

* * *

Chapter six – Pay the penalty

My head pounds, it is as if someone had taken my brain out of my head and played football with it. Every time I take a breath, there is a tight pain in my chest. I dread to think what I look like. I force myself to sit up in the hospital bed holding my ribs. I glance at my watch which says that it is 7:45am. If I get up now it means I can take a quick shower and get changed before I meet everyone at the training room.

After I shower I get dressed in a black short sleeved T-shirt and some knee length shorts. I don't even know why I bought shorts, my legs look like matchsticks in them.

I look at my reflection in the mirror that hangs on the wall above the sink. Both of my eyes are bruised and there is a small cut above my eyebrow. My naturally long narrow nose is now double the size of what it usually is. I can't bear to look at it any longer. I finish getting myself ready and then make my way to the training room.

* * *

I get there ten minutes late. I try to sneak in without being noticed, but Four spots me and waves me over. I look around and see that everyone is too busy watching a fight, but I'm not sure who's.

"Why are you late?" He asks quietly, folding his arms and staring down at me.

"I-I w-was–was –"

"Spit it out Stiff we haven't got all day!" Eric snaps as he comes toward us. The insult makes me wince and my stomach sink. I remember when the kids at school used to always say that to me when I couldn't speak fast enough for them. I grit my teeth and my jaw tightens. I feel my cheeks heat up, knowing that they will be beat red now Four stands there shaking his head and chewing on his thumb nail.

"We're done here, I'll speak to you later Stiff," Four whispers, narrowing his eyes at Eric.

I nod and shuffle over to the black bored to see who I will be fighting. Al. I'm fighting Al. he is sitting at one of the benches I take a seat next to him.

"You okay?" He asks, moving along on the bench.

I just nod to save myself from answer any more questions.

One of these days I'm just going to end up knocking the crap out of Eric. He thinks he can just walk all over everyone without dealing with the consequences.

* * *

Tris is fighting Peter now. He is winning, Peter is twice the size of my sister, she manages to get a few punches and kicks in, but he keeps knocking her down.

"Just one little tear. Maybe some begging." Peter smirks. She would never beg, or give in to him. Ever.

I feel sick. I don't want to watch, but for some reason I can't seem to tear my eyes away from what is happening.

There is blood dripping from her nose and her little face is already beginning to bruise. He keeps antagonizing her, his face is smug and I feel my hands ball into fits. Please just go down Tris, I don't her to suffer so much. Her breathing is heavy and her legs are wobbling.

I see Four leaving, closing the door behind him.

Tris is still up until her legs give way. Peter keeps kicking her, making me angrier.

"Enough!" I yell marching toward the fighting mat, Al grabs my arm but I yank it back.

Peter turns around and rolls his eyes.

"What are you going to do, stutter me to death?" My lip twitches.

"No," I say so quiet I hardly hear it myself. I clench my hands in to fists and narrow my eyes.

He shakes his head and turns the other way again. I tap him on the shoulder.

"What do you want now Stiff?" Just as he turns my fist flies straight into his face. Pain shoots up my wrist, but it's worth it. Peter grabs his nose with his big hands making grunting and groaning noises. I smirk at his pained expression.

I stretch out my fingers and massage them. Tris is still lying on the mat, I pick her up and carry her in my arms like she is a baby. She isn't heavy at all which helps because I'm not really that strong. I'm not bothered that my ribs hurt because she is resting on them, I just didn't want anyone else to take her.

Eric says something but I ignore him.

I don't care what people do or say to me, but if they do anything to my sister. Anything! They will pay the penalty.

I carry her to the hospital, her head is resting on my shoulder. I'm not bothered that my ribs hurt because she is resting on them, I just didn't want anyone else to touch her. A Dauntless woman told me to place her on one of the empty bed in the middle of the room. I make sure she looks comfortable, which is pretty hard to tell by the unconscious expression on her face. I move the hair out of her face and kiss her forehead.

* * *

"Take it easy on me," Al says, moving around the mat like a lost puppy.

"m-me t-take it easy on you?" I ask raising an eyebrow, "isn't that m-meant to be the other way around?" I think back to when he knocked out Will with one punch.

He shrugs.

Al is a teddy bear. Well, a big bulky teddy bear. He's soft on the inside and soft on the outside too. He didn't really want to fight, but made it look like it without actually hurting him too bad. After that he just pretended to get knocked out, Eric wasn't paying enough attention to notice anyway.

"Before I dismiss you, I need to tell you that you are going on a little field trip tomorrow." He announces.

"Where are we going?" Will asks from behind me.

"The fence, you have to be at the train by eight fifteen. Don't be late." He glances at me when he says the last part, I just turn my head.

"You can go."

* * *

Christina, Will, Al and I wait for Tris to wake up from her unconscious state. Al and Will sit on the bed to the right of her while Christina sits on the left with an ice pack on her bruised jaw. I stand at the bottom of the bed frowning sadly at my sister.

"Is her eye already black?" Al asks tilting his head to get a better look. I keep my focus on Tris and see that one of her eyes are open the other one is practically glued shut. I smile, she's waking up.

"What happened to your face?" She says through swollen lips. She sounds tired.

Christina laughs, "look who's talking. Should we get you an eye patch?" I can't help but chuckle.

"Well," Tris says. "I already know what has happened to my face," she smiles. "I was there. Sort of." I smirk, I've never heard he make a joke before.

We talk for a while, Al tells her about the 'field trip' tomorrow. Will tells her how he won Christina at a fight which explained the ice pack on her jaw. After about five minutes into the conversation about mine and Al's fight my stomach makes a really loud gurgling noise. Everyone turns to me and Christina bursts out laughing, making my cheeks heat up.

"Uh, I –" is all I manage to say because Christina butts in.

"Well somebody's hungry." I nod slightly embarrassed as my stomach grumbles again.

Tris smiles, "you guys go get some dinner while I rest."

"Are you sure you don't want us to stay with you?" Christina asks. Tris just shakes her head, "I'll be fine," she says closing her one eye that was open.

* * *

I sit opposite to Christina and next to Al, Will keeps glancing at me every so often giving me a weird look. I try to ignore it by playing with the left overs on my plate, moving them around with my fork. Al is already on his second helping of Dauntless cake, and there is chocolate icing smudged at the corner of his mouth.

"So, Andy how did someone like you choose Dauntless?" Will asks, "I'm just curious."

"What do you m-mean someone l-like me?" I ask frowning.

"Well, you're passive and shy, not that there's anything wrong with it. I just wouldn't have expected you to have chosen a faction that involves being brave," he says with an innocent face.

My eyes widen.

"I'm brave in my own way! Anyway Al doesn't want to fight anyone because he's afraid of hurting someone and you have the nerve to say I'm not brave!?"

He smirks.

"What?" I ask.

"You didn't stammer once in that sentence," he says still smirking. Christina smiles too, Al is too busy eating his cake to take notice.

"I… Well I – shut up Will. W-what does it have to d-do with anything?" I say.

"It was just an experiment. You don't stammer when you're angry," he says, shovelling the last of his food into his mouth.

"Well I'm glad that amuses y-you." I roll my eyes.

After dinner we make our way to the dormitory. I wonder if Will knew what he was doing. I mean if his 'experiment' didn't work, it would have been funny to watch him try to explain what he was doing. Maybe he was just making a point about it. But to say that I'm not brave was a mistake.

* * *

 **1.** **What do you think Andy is scared of and how many fears do you think he has? Or what fears would you like him to face?**

 **2.** **What do you think about my character Andy?**

 **You don't have to answer just thought it would be fun :) thanks for reading**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everyone, here is chapter seven I hope you enjoy :) as always I thank you for your lovely reviews they always make me smile :)**

 **Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Divergent *cries in corner* I only own my character, Andy.**

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Chapter seven – Field trip

The next morning, I wake up earlier than I anticipated, only by half an hour though. Everyone else is still sound asleep in their beds. I get out of mine, grabbing a fresh pair of clothes, and my boots then make my way to the bathroom to get changed. My bare feet make a slapping sound every time they hit the floor, even though I try to make my steps light. I carry my things awkwardly in my arms trying not to drop them. When I get half way down the corridor, Four stands in front of me, blocking my path.

"Stiff," he says with a nod, he has a muffin in his hand with a chunk bitten out of it.

"Four." I say, my voice comes out all croaky.

I go to move around him but he grabs my arm. His grip is strong it makes my arm feel numb. I try to pull away but he his grip becomes tighter, and it makes me drop one of my boots on the floor near my foot.

"Watch yourself Stiff. We don't want any accidents." He says quietly, letting go of my arm. Before I am about to answer, he is already half way down the corridor. Leaving me alone in my thoughts. I rub my arm, there is already a red hand mark on it.

 _We don't want any accidents? Is that a threat? Or is it a warning?_ Either way it makes me anxious, making my stomach twist. I swallow thickly, and my mouth becomes dry, the thing is I don't even know what I've done. I shake my head and try not to let the thought eat away at my mind. It's then that I realise I've just been standing in the same place, alone for about five minutes, feeling, and probably looking like an idiot. I pick up my boot and shuffle my way slowly to the bathroom.

* * *

Once I'm changed into my clean clothes; a black long sleeved V-necked t-shirt and a pair of black jeans, I return to the dormitory. Before I walk through the door I hear the shuffle of feet, quietly I open the door and walk through. I see that some of the beds are still occupied with sleeping bodies, and that others are not. Al is still asleep, he is a big lump under a mound of covers.

Glancing around I notice Christina in one of the corners in the room, wearing nothing but her underwear trying to get dressed discreetly. I think back to the time we first met and smirk.

"Well, y-you were wrong, staring does give m-me the power to see through your cl-clothes." She spins around, and frowns crinkling her nose, though I can't tell if she's blushing.

"What? You haven't asked me out, and you're already ogling my body. Typical man," she says covering herself up, smirking a tad.

My forehead creases, and I look away out of respect, "n-no, I didn't ogle. I just s-simply glanced. You look uh – you're, uh –" I blush and by this point everyone begins to wake up and start to get dressed.

"Cat got your tongue, Andy?" She giggles, now fully dressed.

 _Pretty._

I blush again, and her dark chocolate eyes stare at me, when I don't answer. "I'll go wake Tris, why don't you grab us some breakfast?" She says, patting me awkwardly on the shoulder before she leaves. I nod to myself. I'll get breakfast.

As I left to get breakfast, pretty much everyone had already gone to get to the track. My watch bleeps reading; 8:00 exactly, only fifteen minutes to get there. I rush through the empty-ish dining hall and snag three muffins from the nearest table, not caring what flavour they are.

I am halfway back to the dormitory when I see Tris, and Christina jog by grabbing a muffin as they pass me. I do a double take and try to catch up to them.

"Hey, wait!" I say, just behind them with my limbs moving awkwardly.

"Come on slowcoach, we're gonna get left behind if you don't hurry your ass up. You too, Tris," Christina urges with a chuckle escaping from the back of her throat. Her long slender legs are a big advantage to cover more ground.

We pass the Pit and climb the stairs that lead us to the glass building and to the exit. With every step Tris takes I can tell she is in pain, just by the way she holds herself. Every step is a struggle and every breath is shaky, yet she carries on not letting anything get in her way.

We make it to the tracks literally as the train arrives, horn blasting makes my ears tingle. We had just made it in the nick of time.

"What took you so long?" Will shouts loudly, so he can be heard from over the noise of the horn.

"Stumpy Legs over here turned into an old lady over-night," Christina says.

"Oh, shut up." Tris jokes.

"And then we have Muffin Man here who, well, you know," she says, while I take a bite of my muffin. My mouth completely full I'm unable to retort a response that is unless a 'humpfff' counts.

I notice that Four is at the front, and far too close to the train I'm surprised his nose hasn't been sliced off. He then stands back to let some of the initiates on first. Will hoists himself on the train stomach first, then tries to pull the rest of himself in the car with some difficulty. Four is next to get into the car grabbing the handle bar and pulls himself in making it look that easy.

We jog to catch up to the train, Tris gets in first with Al helping her in and I give her a gentle shove. I take one last bite of my muffin, before discarding it over the edge of the track. The sweet taste of banana and walnut lingers on my tongue. I grab the bar and heave myself in, muscles and limbs tensing, I just manage to get in without the aid of Al.

As I get in, I hear laughter the kind of laughter that makes you want to pull your ears off. Clearly not the nice kind because it's coming from Peter's big mouth.

"We are all awed by your incredible wit," Will says, sarcastically.

"Yeah, are you sure you don't belong with the Erudite, Peter?" Christina smirks. "I hear they don't object to sissies." I snort at her remark.

Four speaks up before Peter can get a word in. "Am I going to have to listen to your bickering all the way to the fence?"

Everyone, including Peter shuts up, and Four turns back toward the exit of the car. Peter glares at me I just ignore him, and take a seat on the floor of the car. Al comes and joins me on the floor, he hasn't said a word since we got on the train, which is not unlike him he can be quite quiet.

"Y-you all – alright?" I ask, looking around just in time to see Christina wiggling her fingers at my sister, who looks completely unamused.

"Not really," Al says, sadly avoiding my gaze.

"What's wrong?"

He shrugs, "I just don't want to fight again."

I understand how he feels, but in some ways I don't. Fighting is bad and I know that, but I like it, it makes me feel a rush, especially when I win. It's just the fighting people that are my friends makes me feel like I shouldn't do it for fun.

"Ah…" I say, "well, stage one sh-should be over soon, and w-we won't have to fight anymore." I glance at Peter who is talking to his minions, I subconsciously clench my jaw and narrow my eyes.

"Hey, the train's stopped," Al says, nudging me out of my glare.

I get up from the floor and follow everyone off of the train.

I keep close to Al and Will, my sister is with Christina nearer the front. It's funny that we haven't been in Dauntless that long and she already has a best friend.

The fence is huge, made from chain-linked metal with barbed wire twirled along the top, either to keep us in, or to keep something else out.

"Hey, Will, what do you th-think is beyond the f-fence?" He just stares at me with wide eyes.

"What?" I say, raising one eye brow.

"Tris asked pretty much the same question," he says.

"Well, we are twins," Tris laughs from in front.

"Really? You look nothing like each other," Christina adds.

"Well, we're obviously n-none identical tw-twins, Chris," I chuckle, so does Tris.

Our conversation ends when Four leads us to the gate and speaks.

He tells us that if we are not ranked in the top five when initiation is over, we will end up guarding the fence. I also learn that, Four was actually ranked first in his initiation, yet he didn't want a government job, leading me to wonder why. Why would someone with a high rank choose to work in the control room?

A truck comes out of the gate with a small group of Amity on the back of it, buried by some creates holding apples in them.

"Beatrice?" An Amity boy asks, it's Robert Black, our old Abnegation neighbour. I remember seeing him at the choosing ceremony and choosing Amity as his faction. We never really spoke much, but I knew he liked my sister. He brings her into a hug, like any other Amity would.

They talk for a minute until Molly mocks my sister because of her name. I hate her, and Peter, they have no filter and say what's ever on their stupid, tiny little mind that can only process one thought at a time.

Four is too busy talking to a female Dauntless guard. The other guards have finished examining the truck that Robert returns, and waves a good bye to my sister.

Four moves away from the fence, as the rest of us make our way back to the track. Everyone is here but Four and Tris. About two minutes later they re-join the group just as the train arrives.

"What were you d-doing?" I ask her, she just shrugs her tiny shoulders.

"Four, just gave me a few fighting tips," she says.

"F-fighting tips… Right," I say not fully convinced. She ignores that and gets on the train, I get on after her. We ride in silence waiting for the train to take us back to the Dauntless compound.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading :) your reviews are always welcomed and appreciated ;)**

 **see ya next chapter**


	8. Chapter 8

**wow, another chapter already, you guys must be lucky :) this chapter was actually quite fun to write hehe, so I hope you enjoy.**

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Chapter eight – Capture the flag

Well, I have to admit that the 'fighting tips,' Four gave Tris actually worked, and she won the fight she had with Myra. I mean yeah, Myra couldn't throw a proper punch if someone was controlling her like a puppet on string. But at least my sister won her first fight… Unfortunately, I got paired up with Molly, and if you haven't noticed, in my opinion she is the human Sasquatch. Big, broad shouldered and not exactly appealing to the eye… and maybe even a bit too hairy. By this information you may have already gathered that I lost the fight, you might even say that I have the bruises to prove it, well that's because I have.

 _Fighting tips, I wonder if Four would give me some, at least I hope he just gave her fighting tips, and nothing else._

I yawn then change for bed, crawling along my mattress and let my head sink into the pillow. I can relax now. Just as I close my eyes, the door creaks open, and people come in with flashlights shining in people's faces. I pull the covers over my head to try blocking out the light that streams into my eyes.

"Everybody up!" A voice bellows, the sound rattles in my ears making me groan.

 _Aw, but I just got comfortable._

I hear shuffling from around me, meaning everyone else is already up. Groaning I drag myself out of the side of the bed, immediately regretting the decision of just wearing a pair of grey boxers to bed. Though, in all fairness my clothes kept chafing on my injuries from my fight with Molly, causing me to hurt like hell.

One of the flashlights lands on me making my eyes squint, and rub my eyes forgetting that they are heavily bruised and tender to touch.

"Ew, no one wants to see that," I hear Molly snort, I blush a deep red and I instantly feel self-conscious about my skinny, under toned bruised body, and my arms that resemble knots in a piece of string. Subconsciously, I grab the sheet from my bed and cover myself with it.

"Did you go deaf, Stiff?" Eric's demand is aimed at my sister, who is still in bed. She gets up slowly and stands next to Christina who is in just her vest and knickers. She glances over at me, smirking, I feel more heat rise in my cheeks.

"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us at the tracks," Eric says. "We're going on another field trip." As soon as they leave, I scramble to get my clothes and get dressed franticly. My hands shake and my fingers go numb as I try to tie my shoe laces as fast as I can.

I sprint as fast as my matchstick legs can carry me, trying to keep up with Tris and Christina. I wince in pain, every time arms sway my ribs scream agony, and in the muscles in my legs cramp up slightly making me slow down.

We make it to the track a little time after the Dauntless born initiates. After I finish catching my breath, I notice that there is a dark pile near the track – guns, but they don't look like regular ones. Next to the pile are boxes labelled 'PAINTBALLS.' _Paintballs and guns… are we shooting something with them? Or is it more target practice?_

"Everyone grab a gun!" Eric shouts.

Everyone scrambles to get a gun, while I try to get one I get a few jabs to my sides from elbows. When I finally get one I place the strap over my shoulder and grab a box of paintballs like I saw Tris do.

"Time estimate?" Eric asks Four.

Four checks his watch, squinting to see it more clearly in the dim light. "Any minute now. How long is it going to take for you to memorize the train schedule?"

"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" Eric says as he shoves Fours shoulder.

I roll my eyes, I don't quite understand their friendship, if you can even call it that.

A glow farther down the track catches my attention, the beam brightens as it gets closer and I can make out the outline of it – the train.

Four is the first one on the train Tris follows close behind and he helps her on. She didn't even wait for me to catch up. I sprint faster and grab the handle bar, and heave myself through the opening of the train.

I stand awkwardly at the side of the car, and once everyone is in, Four speaks. "We'll be split into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off fist so they can hide their flag, and the other team will get off after to do the same," Four explains.

The car sways and he grabs onto the side of the door way. I almost lose my balance and bump into one of the Dauntless born, a girl with a shaved head. She gives me an annoyed glare.

"Watch it, dummy!" She says, shoving me back. I'm about to say sorry when, Eric talks about picking members, so I just give the girl an apologetic look which she rolls her eyes at.

"You first," says Four.

Eric shrugs, and picks Edward.

I keep my head down and stare at the grey floor of the car, waiting for Four to choose his first team member.

"I want the Stiff."

I pick my eyes up from the floor, and the faint sound of laughing fills the car.

"Which one?" Eric asks, raising a brow which moves his piercing.

"The girl," Four says.

"Come on, Four you'll have to be a bit more specific than that," Eric smirks, and the car once again fills with laughter. I feel my stomach twist with embarrassment, and my face flushes crimson.

Four rolls his eyes at Eric. "Got something to prove?" Eric smirks like always. "Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll have someone to blame it on?"

"Something like that," Four shrugs.

Tris is not weak, so even if he was picking the weak ones she wouldn't be on his team.

"Peter," Eric says.

"Christina."

"Molly."

"Will," Four says, biting his thumbnail.

"Al."

"Drew."

"They're two left, and since I feel like being nice today I'll let you choose last transfer first," Eric folds his arms and waits.

"Myra," Four says.

I lower my head, I wasn't even anyone's last choice. I feel even more embarrassed than before, no one wants to be picked last for anything.

"Fine. Dauntless born next," Eric says through his teeth.

Once they choose the Dauntless born, Four and Eric debate on who is going to get off the train first.

"Fine, take your scrawny team and get off first, then." Eric's cold eyes darken.

They get off the train, but not before Tris gives me pitiful look. My team continue to ride the train.

"Where do you think they're gonna hide their flag?" Peter asks Eric.

"How the hell are we supposed to know?" A Dauntless initiate snaps.

"N-Navy Pier," I say quietly, hoping that they didn't hear me.

"What? Speak up Stiff," Eric says, his eyebrows tug together.

"Navy Pier, that's the only pl-place around where they g-got off. Th-that's where they'll go to hide their fl-flag," I explain, everyone stares at me.

"The Stiff has a brain, amazing." Peter sneers, his dark eyes stare into mine.

"At least I use m-mine, all yours does is cl-collect dust." I retort.

"Shut up! You're acting like two year olds." Eric scolds, "get ready to jump."

When we are all off the train, Eric leads us to the Park at Navy Pier, and sends Edward to hide the flag there. We are put in pairs of either; Defence or Offense. I'm Defence with a Dauntless born – Lynn, she's the one I bumped on the train, and I don't think she has forgiven me for it.

"Oh come on, Eric I can do so much better on Offense." She pleads, "Defence is so dull."

"I said you're on defence, now defend." He says sternly, Lynn rolls her caramel coloured eyes. "Offense with me, Defence stay to guard the flag." He leaves with the other half of our team to search for the other team's flag.

Lynn and I are at the ground to where our flag is hidden, Edward hid it on the roof of one of the buildings in the park. A few other Defence are on the ledge of the building, while the rest are on the roof top to protect the flag. Its dark, and the only light we have are from the flashlights.

 _We haven't even got a strategy, Eric just took off without explaining what the hell we need to do. Do the Defence just need to stand about like idiots waiting for someone to just drop by and shoot? What?_

I hear Lynn sigh, she is crouching behind a small bush, and clearly bored out of her mind. Something rustles in the distance, I flash my torch.

"Don't do that, you idiot! Do you want them to find us?" Lynn hisses, I shake my head dumbly and lower my light.

She gets up, dusting herself down. "Are you coming or what?"

 _Coming where? What is she doing?_

"I don't know about you, but I'm bored of sitting around looking pretty," she folds her arms.

"B-but Eric s-said –"

"To hell what Eric said, we're Offense now." She smirks, mischievously.

I follow close behind her, there is a pit in my stomach telling me I did not make the right decision. We walk for a while until we reach the Pier.

"Turn your flashlight off," she says quietly, clicking hers off.

I hesitate but obey, placing it in one of my back pockets.

"So, has the Stiff got a name, or is it just _Stiff?"_ She asks, her voice quiet but filled with sarcasm.

My nose twitches at the word, Stiff. That's all anyone has ever called me since I've been here.

"I have a n-name," I say. "Andy."

"What? Short for Andrew or something?"

"Andric, actually."

"Stupid name, I'm just gonna call you Rick."

"Well, L-Lynn isn't all that g-good either, I mean it r-rhymes with bin and –"

"Shhh." Lynn whispers, I hear the slight rattling of her gun.

I aim mine to the noise, Lynn shoots and her paintball connects to something, making a splat sound. She flicks on her flashlight and points it at the target – Drew. He is on the floor groaning, she had shot him on the cheek, which he covers with his hands.

"Keep moving. If he's here there'll be more if them coming," she shoots him again in the chest with a blue paintball.

I keep my gun aimed and ready, just in case. I hear footsteps and shoot about three times, only two hit someone. I click my light on, only wishing I hadn't. Eric stands in front of me covered in pink and blue paint, his face is seething. The light from my torch illuminates his eyes in the creepiest way.

"I told you to stay and defend the flag, you idiots!" I swear that if Eric gets any angrier the vein on his forehead could burst at any moment.

I gulp, I knew I shouldn't have left my post.

 _Stupid! Stupid!_ I mentally scold myself.

Faint cheering can be heard in the distance, and Eric exhales with annoyance. I bite my lip, and cast my eyes down.

Slowly, he walks up to me, his mouth so close to my face that I can feel the warmth of his breath. "You'll never be Dauntless," he whispers menacingly in my ear, before leaving back down the pier. I swallow hard, dragging my feet with little effort back to the park with Lynn.

* * *

"What happened to you?" Four asks Eric, once we're all back on the Train.

"My own team rebelled against me," he spits, trying to rub off some of the paint that had splattered onto his face.

I look around to see that the people on my team had been painted like rainbows. Blue, pink, and red rainbows. Tris is talking to the people that were on her team happily, while Christina victoriously holds the flag.

"Hey, it's not that bad," Lynn says, taking a seat next to me on the floor. I just give her a look.

"N-not that bad? I shot Eric, twice!" Eric, the deadliest thing in Dauntless. He keeps giving me his evil glare, which I try to ignore. I feel bad, I do, but in some ways he deserved it.

I watch Tris, and smile at how happy she is. She is Dauntless, I'm just a Dauntless wannabe.

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 **hehe, what did you think? I don't know about you guys, but I've always wanted to have Eric be hit with paintballs haha. If it's not too much trouble, let me know what you think by leaving a little review ;)**

 **Thank you for reading :))**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys, here's the next chapter I hope you enjoy :) thank you for your reviews they make me smile :D**

 **Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Divergent :(**

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Chapter nine – Playing with knives

The early worm gets the bird, wait, no that's not right. I mean the early bird gets the worm. As usual I'm up at the crack of dawn. There's no worm involved, obviously because I'm not a bird. You know what I don't even know why I'm taking about worms, metaphors aren't my specialty. Just ignore that bit.

Anyway, I decide just to get dressed in the dormitory, like normal people do. Considering that pretty much everyone has already seen me in my underwear, thanks to Eric, so I don't see the point in hiding what they had already saw.

I hear quiet giggling at the other end of the room, I look around and see Christina standing next to Will's bed with a pen in her hand. I walk over while I finish putting my top on.

"W-what are you d-doing?" My voice is just above a whisper.

"I was bored and couldn't sleep, so…" she moves aside, and I look to see what she had done. I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing too loud. There, on Will's top lip was a black moustache that curled at the ends drawn on with black marker.

"N-nice detail," I squeak, and a laugh escapes my lips.

"Thanks. I wonder how long it would for him to notice," she laughs quietly.

"D-do you wanna bet?"

She raises a brow, "a bet?"

I nod, "for fun." She bites her lip.

"Okay, I bet he only notices it at the end of the day," she says.

"I bet lunch t-time."

"If I win you have to kiss, Al," She giggles.

"…On the lips." She puts the lid back on the pen.

I grimace.

 _She wants to play like that does she?_

"And if I w-win you have – have to kiss m-me," I say. "Deal?" I stick my hand out.

She thinks for a moment.

"Wait, what if neither of us win?" she asks,

"Uh, well, Tris c-could decide what the p-punishment is if we both lose," I say, my hand starts to ach from holding it out for too long.

She smiles before she shakes it. Her long fingers wrap around my palm, her grip is strong.

"Deal."

 _I am going to win!_

* * *

When we all get to the training room, I notice that Eric is as ridged as a statue. It is as if someone has shoved a metal rod right up his… nether regions.

Eric isn't in the best of moods, and I think it has something to do with losing the game yesterday. I take note that there are knives spread messily along a table at the other end of the room. _Target practise._

Christina nudges my shoulder and nods her head to one side, I glance in the direction her head went. Will, totally obvious to that fact that he has a three inch, black marker caterpillar drawn on his top lip. We had agreed that nobody would tell him, otherwise the bet would automatically fail and we would both lose, resulting in punishment.

I strange noise escapes my mouth – a laugh that sounds more like a donkey ' _hee – hawing.'_ I cover my mouth with my hand, and bite the inside of my cheeks to keep it from happening again.

Will looks over at me and then sticks his nose in the air. All he needs now is a Monocle and then he'd be splendid. I snort again.

Eric gives me a look of disapproval.

"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one," he says. "You will resume fighting then. Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives." His voice sound rougher and deeper than usual. "And pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them."

No one moves.

"Now!" He yells.

We all scramble for the silver, shiny objects.

"You do know how to pick up a knife right, Stiff? By the handle and not the pointy end," Peter snorts. I grimace, his laugh is like a pig squealing for food.

 _Yes, I know what a knife is. Yes, I know how to hold it. Yes… ahh._ A little rush of pain, like a paper cut, runs through my finger.

"That why you don't hold the pointy bit, you dumb Stiff." I roll my eyes and place my finger in my mouth to sooth the pain. The cut is only small and not deep but stings. Peter gives a toothy grin.

I narrow my eyes, "I got distracted, tell me, P-Peter. Did you have a Muffin for b-breakfast or is that just shit in your t-teeth?" I hear a few laughs, and Peter covers his mouth.

 _That's what I thought._

Once I get my three knives, I go back to the middle of the room with everyone else. They're light, like not heavy light, if that makes sense. Light, but dangerous.

Four begins to throw his knives one at a time. His arm gently pulls back, flicking his wrist and then releases, exhaling as he lets go. The target is always hit. He is stood up straight, confident and his concentration is gold. Every throw he takes is smooth, and always hits the target's centre.

"Line up!" Eric commands.

 _Rushing,_ I think, _will do you no good._ My father told me that when he taught me how to tie my shoe laces. ' _It only causes fumbling,'_ he would say. Every time I rushed and fumbled with my laces, he would lightly slap me on the hand and make me retie them again, and again until I got it right.

This is a mental exercise, you have to think before you act. Aim before I throw. I breath, spread my legs and have my knife ready to throw. _Keep your eyes open!_ I think. The last time I closed my eyes in target practise, Four almost made me pee myself.

 _Clatter!_ It hit the floor.

 _Clatter!_ Again.

 _Clatter!_

I sigh, then get my knives while everyone collects theirs too.

I look around seeing if anyone is looking at me. They're not thank goodness. I close my eyes, and picture the target in front of me, imagining the knife flying and hitting the target. I keep my eyes closed and throw, releasing the knife.

 _Thunk!_

I do it again.

 _Thunk!_

And again.

 _Thunk!_

I open my eyes slowly, smiling to see that all three of the knives had hit, and stuck on the centre of the target.

Will stands next to me, awe stricken. I can't help staring at his top lip, smirking I go and collect my knives and do the same process.

I do that three or four times again.

Close my eyes, aim and then release –

"What are you doing?" Eric's voice is barely above a whisper.

"Hitting the t-target," I say, opening my eyes.

"With your eyes shut?" He asks.

"We've been over this, Stiff," Four interjects, and I blush. He is helping Al, teaching him the technique slower.

"I do b-better with my eyes shut," I say.

"You seemed to hit your target perfectly fine with your eyes open yesterday, why is this any different?" Eric sneers, his piercings stretch from his lip.

"If I had my eyes cl-closed, I would have hit my t-target better, it would have been something much smaller than y-your chest," I glance down, his cheeks tinge pink.

I hear a few _'_ _Oooh's'._

"Shut up!" He yells clearly embarrassed. He grabs my shirt, "listen here you little –"

"Stop playing with the Stiff, Eric," Four mutters, he lets loose of my shirt.

"Stand in front of the target!"

"W-what?"

"Open your ears, or can you hear better with them closed?" Eric taunts, his eyes are like daggers.

I stand in front of the target, unmoving.

"Everyone out of the ring. Four give me a hand here," everybody moves to the other side of the room, and Eric gives Four knives.

"You're gonna stand there as he throws those knives. You got that, Stiff?" I nod stiffly. "Oh, and if you flinch… your out."

I gulp.

I'm not worried that Four will hit me. I'm worried that flinch and screw up.

He aims, he is about to throw the first knife when, Tris interrupts.

"Stop it," she says. "Any idiot can stand in front a target. It doesn't prove anything…"

 _Oh, God this is bad. Please, just stop talking, please._

"Well then, it won't be hard for you to take his place."

 _Too late._

"There goes your pretty face," Peter hisses. "Oh, wait. You don't have one."

I feel my eye brows tug together in anger. She makes her way towards me, she wears determination on her face.

"Move," she whispers, I shake my head.

"Move," she says again, this time shoving me out of the way.

I stay for the first knife to be thrown, but can't take anymore. "I-I can't watch," I say to Christina. She pats me on the shoulder and gives me a sad smile, before I

charge out of the door, not daring to glace over my shoulder.

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 **Whew, I hope you enjoyed that hehe.**

 **Who do you think will win the bet? What will the punishment be if they both lose? hmmm.** **next chapter should be up soon, and as always your reviews are very much appreciated :) thanks for reading**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi, here is chapter ten hope you enjoy :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent.**

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Chapter ten – Bets and punishments

The dormitory is empty, everyone is still in the training room with Eric. I couldn't face the fact that Tris took my place. She didn't need to. I didn't want her to. It was my mistake, I was the one that made Eric mad, not her. I should have just kept my stupid mouth shut!

I go over and sit at the bottom of my bed, my head touches the bunk above slightly. Tris didn't seem to like the idea of standing in front of the target, but she still did it. She is too selfless. Or too brave, I suppose they're pretty much the same thing.

 _You need to be selfless to be brave._

A few minutes later the door of the dormitory opens. Christina comes in with a weird expression on her face, like something bad has happened.

And then –

"You think this is funny, do you?" Will storms into the room, damp paper towel in hand, and a black smudge on his face.

Christina bites her lip to keep from laughing.

"W-well, it – it is a bit," I laugh, getting up from the bed.

"It won't come off! What pen did you guys use?" Will moans, vigorously trying to scrub off the mark on his lip.

Christina gets the pen she used and looks at it. "Uh, it was permanent maker," she squeaks, in-between laughter.

Will looks completely mortified.

"Oh come on, Will it was a bit of fun. If I hit you in your funny bone will it make you laugh?" She says, nudging him on the shoulder.

"Its real name is the humerus bone and no, probably not." I roll my eyes, he is an Erudite born and raised.

I look at my watch; 12:05. Five minutes after lunch.

I smile.

"I win." I say.

"What?" Will asks, we both ignore him.

"No you didn't. Neither of us have, he noticed it when he went to the bathroom, twenty minutes ago. He spent most of that time trying to get it off."

 _Crap._

"We both lost." She says.

"Wait. You guys had a bet?!" Will exclaims. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Then it w-wouldn't have been a bet," I say.

The dormitory door opens again, Al and Tris walk in. The tip of her ear is red.

"Tris, you're b-bleeding." I frown, she just waves me away, and says that she's fine. Al just stands awkwardly saying nothing, his face looks grim for some reason.

* * *

We walk down one of the hallways and into the Pit. Will is still angry with us, mainly because of the bet. The smudge on his face is still there not budging.

Tris doesn't seem in the best of moods either. She has been silent since we left the dormitory, and Al, well, Al is Al.

To be honest, I'm a little bit thankful that neither of us won. I just imagining the kiss with Al if I lost is disturbing. And after all you can't force a kiss with someone, so even if I did win the kiss wouldn't feel right.

"Hey, Tris you know how me and Andy had that bet?" Christina starts, Tris nods. "Well, we both lost and we kinda need a punishment thing. We were thinking you could decide on what the punishment should be."

"Ah, maybe you should –"

A man walks past us, he has a large tattoo of a scorpion on the back of his head.

Tris' smile widens.

 _Oh, no._

"You should get tattoos," she smiles.

"Ooh. W-wait, what I-I –"

"What it sound cool to me. What kind of tattoo?" Christina asks, wrapping one of her long arms wrap around my shoulders.

"Your names on each other's wrist," Will says, Tris agrees nodding with enthusiasm.

"Hey, actually that's not a bad idea," says Christina.

The thought of having some ones name on me forever, gives me a strange feeling in my stomach.

We make our way to the tattoo parlour, and Christina teases Will. The parlour is lit with small lights, it is still a bit dim though.

We go over to the tattooists, one is a woman and the other is a big burly man with many pricings and tattoos. The most noticeable tattoo he has is of a skull with a spider creeping from the eye socket on the side of his neck. It gives me chills, it looks so real and creepy.

The big guy tells me to go through to a room behind a curtain, while Christina goes through a different one with the woman.

"Take a seat," the man says, his voice is rough but quiet. He points to a black, reclined chair with the head rest missing. I walk over and sit down, it the chair isn't very comfortable, especially when my head has nothing to lean against.

"What do you want?" He asks, staring at me.

"A tattoo," I say, simply.

He rolls his eyes with annoyance. "A tattoo of what?"

"A n-name on my wrist. Chr-Christ –" Oh, God I can't say her name. "Christ…Christ…"

"Are you one of those who just likes wasting people's time?" He snaps, I shake my head.

"Right, I think I know what you want, so let's get started." The man gets the equipment ready.

I turn my head not wanting to see the needle. Not that I'm scared of them, just a needle in the wrist is not the best image in the world.

"Ah! Ee! Oo! St-stop,"

"Calm down, I haven't started yet. I was just cleaning where you want the tat to go. And you chose Dauntless?"

"I knew that, and y-yes I did." I say, with a frown.

"Just relax," he mutters, tugging on my wrist.

Breathe. Just breathe. The needle goes in, it feels strange like someone scratching you with a pin and then poking it into your skin. It's painful but bearable.

I look at the man who is doing my tattoo, and try to guess if he was a transfer or a Dauntless born. The silence is awkward so I ask.

"I was a transfer, used to be Candor. I couldn't take any more of the things they used to say about me. Hurtful things, you know?" The tattooist said sadly, I could see that he found it hard talking about his old faction.

I nod and he tells me his name is Blade. It's weird, but somehow he suites it.

"Y-you don't eighteen," I say.

"You don't act like Dauntless," he retorts.

"Touché."

"You're done," he says wrapping the tattoo with a small padded bandage.

"Thanks." He nods and smiles a crooked smile.

I walk out and see that Christina is already done.

"What do you think?" She asks, showing me her wrist. _Andy,_ is written neatly on her thin wrist with small flowers around it.

I smile, "it's n-nice." I take the bandage off mine taking a peak. I gasp.

"What? Show us, Andy."

I shake my head, and walk off into the dining hall, they follow close behind. Will, Tris, Christina and Al block my path to the door of the canteen.

I sigh and pull off the bandage.

"OH. MY. GOD. AHAHAHA!" Christina erupts into laughter as does Will and Al. Tris is trying her best to keep her laugh in, making occasional struggling noises.

"Okay, it's n-not that f-funny," I say, heat rises in my cheeks.

"Not funny? It's hilarious! You got; **_CHRISTOPHER_** tattooed on your wrist! What's not funny about that?" Christina squeals.

I roll my eyes. "Please stop laughing, I c-couldn't say your n-name properly."

"So you said Christopher? Oh, this is gold," Will laughs.

"No, I didn't. I s-said Chr-Christ, and then I think he guessed the next b-bit."

Tris shakes her head, "Karma, Andy." I roll my eyes.

After everyone has finished laughing, we have dinner.

I look at my wrist again; Christopher is written in bold capital letters across the inner side of my wrist. I shake my head, I don't think I'll be getting another tattoo for a while.

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 **Thanks for reading :) as always your reviews are always welcomed and appreciated :) thank you**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi, guys :) sorry it took a while it's just that I'm back at college and have assignments to do blah, blah, blah. Anyway, there will still be updates, but only when I have time.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent.**

 **Anyhow, enough of the boring lets get back to the story.**

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Chapter eleven – Towels and tantrums

I stand in the shower, letting the teaming hot water pour down my aching body. Today is the day before Visiting Day. I mean you would think I would be excited about possibly seeing my parents again, but I'm not. I'm nervous and worried about what they will think of me. I know my father will be displeased with my choice, but somehow I know he will be happy for Tris. My mother will say that she is proud of us both and then smile the smile that she always wears.

I close my eyes and try not to think about any of it. Just because I think it in my head doesn't mean it will happen like that.

I bite my lip. What will happen if neither of my parents come? Tris will be devastated, I would have to say that I would be a tad relived.

Sighing, I turn off the water, watching the last of it discard down the plug hole making a gurgle sound.

Making sure no one is in the bathroom, I grab a towel and get dried. I get dressed in the bathroom, not daring to do so in the dormitory. The t-shirt I'm wearing is tight on my wrists, chafing my…tattoo.

In the shirt I notice that my arm muscles look more defined, and less like string beans. I look in the mirror and see a person that is not me. This person has a face that is narrower and is gifted with prominent cheekbones. His dull blonde hair is slightly longer and a tad wavy, and has purple circles under their eyes from lack of sleep. This is not me. But it is.

Just a few weeks in Dauntless can change a lot about a person.

Leaving the bathroom, I pick up a jacket on the way to the dormitory. Once I'm there I wait for a moment to listen to the voices on the other side.

"Look at her," I recognise the nasally voice as Molly. "She's practically a child." My eyebrows pull together. Who are they talking about?

"Oh, I don't know," a male voice says – Drew I think. "She could be hiding something under that towel. Why don't we look and see?"

A feeling of utter dread appears in the pit of my stomach. I think I know who they are talking about now. I quickly open the door only to have my sister slam into me. My _naked_ sister! She stares up at me with tear-filled eyes, before she barges past me. My heart breaks for her.

I look over and see that Peter is still holding her towel in his hands. I frown and he smirks then, sniffs the towel, he grimaces.

"Ugh! Smells like Stiff!" The rest of the initiates begin to laugh. I would hate to think what goes on in his perverted little mind.

Usually would kick the crap out of him right now, but since my sister is alone probably feeling so humiliated and I can't just leave her in that state.

I catch up to her, she is half way down the hallway. I take off my jacket and hand it to her, she puts it on quickly.

"Leave me alone, Andy."

Leave her alone? I shake my head, she tugs the jacket around herself.

"No, I w-want to help you." I stare at her, she has stopped crying but she still looks upset.

"Help me? You didn't do anything when I was in there being humiliated and laughed at! You could have said something, but instead you just stood there like the idiot you always are!" I flinch back, her voice is brittle, yet scary. I have never heard her raise her voice that to me before. And that the fact that my own sister thinks I'm an idiot says a lot about me.

She starts to walk away but I grab her arm. "Tris, I –" she yanks it away.

"Just don't." Heat rushes in her cheeks.

I bite my lip and let my hand fall to my side, with my eyes watching after her down the hallway.

* * *

The training room is full, and Four is writing our names and opponents on the board. Christina is near the back of the room talking to Will and Al. I look over at the board, but I can't see my name, I hope my opponent is Peter.

I hate him!

"Hey, where were you this morning?" Christina asks, I'm about to answer when I realise the question was directed at Tris when walks in, now fully dressed, thank goodness.

"I got held up," she says, giving me a look. Will and Al come over, Will pats me on the back and gives a small smile. The moustache from yesterday has faded from his lip.

"You okay, Tris? You look a little…," Al says.

"A little what?" She snaps.

"…On edge," he finishes.

She folds her arms and looks over at the board.

My fight is third and it's with Drew, it's close enough. After all, he was the one that prompted the idea of taking my sisters towel off.

Tris's fight is last against Molly. Edward is against Peter, which I'm happy with as he is the only one who can beat him.

* * *

The fights seem to take seconds to be over. Al loses to Christina, which isn't a surprise. I won my fight with Drew, after a several vigorous punches to the face, and the stomach, also a swift kick in the groin for extra measure, he passed out. Though, I have to give him credit, he did manage to make my nose cry bloody tears, but it was worth it.

During Peter's fight I would every so often glance over at Tris. Every time I would, her fingers were always near her mouth, she was either anxious, or just really hungry and decided to eat her fingers for lunch.

It's Tris's turn to fight. I don't like the way anger flashes in her eyes when she glares at Molly on the mat. If looks could kill, Molly would have been dead by now.

"Was that a birthmark I saw on your left butt cheek?" Molly smirks.

My lip twitches, I almost want to go up there and knock her out myself.

"God, you're pale, Stiff." I feel my jaw tense.

Molly makes the first move, Tris dodges her punch and gives her a blow to the stomach. Tris weaves around the _'_ _Tank,'_ as Christina would put it, keeping her arms up to protect herself. She blocks the next punch and Molly groans with frustration, which sounds more like a wild boar.

After a few minutes, Molly is on the ground curled up like an armadillo trying to protect herself. The unnerving part is the thought of who she is protecting herself from. My sister.

She hits, she kicks, she hits again. Blood oozes out of Molly's nose causing it to pool over her face and run down her lips. She continues doing it until, Four pulls her away.

"You won," he says. "Stop."

I've never seen her act like that before, if our mother and father saw that kind of behaviour from her goodness knows what would happen.

I can tell by her face that she is not in the least bit guilty about what she has just done.

She glances at me before she leaves out the door, wiping Molly's blood from her hands.

"Well, that…was…interesting," Christina drones out her sentence. She looks tired and worn. Has she even been sleeping lately?

"Interesting? More like absolutely awesome! Hey," Al replies. "Hey, you okay?" He asks, nudging me.

"Huh? Uh, yeah I-I'm f-fine," I say, gazing at the door.

"You look dazed."

"Well, he did get a punched in the nose," Christina chuckles, then licks her thumb bringing it to my face.

I pull away, "w-what are you d-doing?"

"You've got a bit of dried blood on your nose, now stay still." She brushes her thumb against my nose gently. She catches me staring into her eyes, then she quickly glances away.

"There, all done," she says, awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact.

I clear my throat. _What just happened?_

"Come on love birds," Al chuckles.

My eyes widen and I feel the heat rise in my cheeks. Christina looks away, clearly embarrassed.

"W-were n-not – I'm not –" my voice comes out all high pitched and squeaky.

"We're just friends," Christina says quietly.

"Relaxed, Andy. I was just messing with you guys," Al says, but his face isn't playful.

I sigh with relief, Will gives me a strange glare.

"Uh, I have to f-find Tris, s-see you guys at lunch." That's if I feel like eating today.

I decide to skip lunch and just hide in one of the hallways. I just needed some alone time, to collect my thoughts together. Do I like Christina more than a friend?

* * *

 **Thank you for reading, and as always your reviews are appreciated :) see ya next chapter**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi, guys here is another chapter :) enjoy**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent**

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Chapter twelve – Visiting day

Well, today is the day. And by that I mean visiting day. I'm not sure whether to be excited or anxious, either way I'm shaking.

I glance across the room, and sit up in my bed wrapping the covers around my shoulders. Molly looks atrocious, her nose big and purple with light blue bruising under her eyes. Though, in some way she did deserve it, I just wish it wasn't my sister that did the deed. I think of my nose and touch it, it's still tender from when Drew right hooked me in the face. Molly hobbles out of the dorm and I notice that neither Peter, nor Drew are anywhere in the room.

Yesterday was very eventful, I can't help but remember the little spark between Christina and I, I mean yeah, she was wiping dried blood from my face, but there was something there…I felt it.

Craning my neck to get a better view I find Christina in the corner getting dressed, looking absolutely miserable. Come to think of it, everyone seems to have the exact same expression on their face; dread. Some dreading that their parent won't turn up, and others dreading that they will.

Tris's eyes flicker over to my bunk, they linger there for only a second before they go back to what they were looking at originally. I can tell by her face she is still a tad mad about yesterday. It's not that I didn't want to say anything, it's the fact that I couldn't. No matter how hard I try, I always seem to mess up.

I get out of bed and shuffle over to her, my socks nearly send me skidding across the slippery floor. I hold my covers tightly around me, Tris is making her bed just like our father showed us how to; tight corners. She pinches a stray hair from her pillow, I clear my throat and open my mouth about to ask her something.

"Attention!" Eric announces as he walks in, removing his hair from his eyes. "I want to give you some advice about today."

 _Advice?_ I snort. He gives me a glare.

"If by some miracle your families do come to visit you…" He studies our faces and smirks like he usually does. "…Which I doubt, it is best not to seem too attached."

 _Don't be too attached. Faction before blood. That's' the motto, follow it, keep to it, don't disobey it. Faction before blood. Who the hell even came up with that anyway?_

"Understand?"

Even though I didn't listen to the rest of his statement I nod anyway. Tris leaves without saying a word, Eric stops her and congratulates her on her fight with Molly. Tris just nods and say a quiet thank you.

I grimace.

Eric congratulating my sister on almost killing a girl isn't something that pleases me.

He smirks at me before he leaves. I quickly get dressed, discarding my sheet on the bed not bothering to make it, and try to catch up with everyone else.

I make my way to the Pit slowly, but surely. Everyone else must already be there because I don't see them in the hallway. I realise the clothes that I am wearing are a little too revealing; a back vest and a pair a black jeans. The jeans are fine it's mainly just the vest and the thing it's revealing. My bear arms and tattoo are exposed. What the hell was I thinking? My God what will my parents think?

I breathe. _Keep it cool, you'll be fine_. My stomach is in knots as enter the Pit. Clusters of families coat the Pit floor with a layer of happiness. Everyone talking to each other, hugging, you get the point. The families are mainly from Dauntless, obviously because we're at Dauntless it makes sense.

I scan the room for my parents, but don't seem to find them. _They didn't come? Where is Tris?_

"Hey, Andy!" I look for the source of the sound and see Christina waving me over. I pretend that I haven't seen her but it's too late, she's coming over with her family.

"Hey, there you are. Will and I were just looking for you," she says, smiling.

I force a smile back. _This is awkward._ Her mother is staring at me, her eyes burning into my soul.

"Oh, so you're the 'Andy,' she has tattooed on her wrist," she says.

I nod.

"Well, I can see why," she giggles. "He is handsome, Tina." She nudges her daughter.

I swallow dryly. Christina is staring at me

A small girl tugs on my trousers looking up at me, I assume that its Christina's younger sister.

"Are you my sister's boyfriend?"

"Uh, Rose we're just friends," Christina says, it takes all my might not to frown at what she had just said.

I'm a tad uncomfortable, meeting my _friend's_ parents is not what I had in mind, because I was hoping to meet my own.

"Chr-Christ, have you s-seen m-my m-m…"

They're staring at me differently now.

"Oh, it was going so well," her mother huffed. "Christina why do you always pick the weirdos?"

 _Well it was nice to meet you too._ I think bitterly. If my speech is all she sees then she shallow even for a Candor.

"Mom! He is not a –"

"What about that Will? He seems nice…"

Christina rolls her eyes, and mimes a 'sorry,' I nod.

"It was a pl-plesure to m-meet you both," I say, before leaving to find my own family.

As I leave I bump into a short plump woman.

"Oh, excuse me," she says. "Do you know Albert? My son? Do you know where he is?" Whoa, that's a lot of questions in one sentence, did she even breathe?

"Albert?" I ask, I nod in realisation. She's Al's mother. "I haven't s-seen him since y-yesterday. Maybe you c-could look up there," I say, pointing up at the glass

ceiling above.

"Oh my," she says, using her hand to fan herself. She looks a little pale now, and babbles on about the Dauntless being insane and I can't help but smile.

"If I s-see him I-l'll tell him you were l-looking for him," she nods.

My eyes flash through the crowd and I see Tris at the other side of the Pit. As I get closer I can see my mother.

She came.

"Tris!" I yell over the crowd, her head turns and she tugs our mother toward me.

My mother smiles and opens her arms to embrace me into a hug.

"My you've grown, Andric." Her grip is tight. Is it bad that I feel like crying? I've missed her so much, and I think seeing her has made it worse because now that I've seen her, I know I won't be able to for a long while.

"Your father will be proud of you both," she says it as if she already knows.

I frown. "Where is D-dad?" She pulls away from the hug and looks at me sadly.

"He had to work," is she says, but I can tell that there is something more behind the meaning.

After a few minutes of just standing saying nothing, Christina spots Tris and beckons her over. She and my mother go over, while I wait around just glancing at each initiate and their family. Peter's actually came, though I can't say the same for Molly and Drew's parents. They stand alone in the corner of the room, I almost feel sorry for them, but I remember that they are dirty, selfish Bastar –

"I can't believe you associate with them kind of people, Will," a girl's voice says bringing me out of my thoughts. The snobbishness in their voice, and the fact that they are wearing blue accumulates that they are Erudite and Will's sister.

I can help but turn around to see what on earth is going on.

"Cara," Will speaks up, "there's no need to be _rude."_ He frowns at his sister.

She begins to insult my mother and my faction – my old faction. Anger boils up inside of me, I don't see how my mother can be so poised when she is being berated by someone no older than me.

"I'm sorry," my mother says softly. "I believe you are mistaken."

"Mistaken. Ha," Cara snaps sarcastically. "I'm sure you're exactly what you seem. A faction of happy-go-lucky do-gooders without a selfish bone in your body. Right."

I want to say something, but if I do I'd just end up making a fool of myself, so I stay silent. 0

"Don't speak to my mother that way," Tris says, her face flushed with anger. "Don't say another word to her or I swear I will break your nose." She flings her fist in the air.

I pull her away from Will's sister.

"Back off, Tris," he says. "You're not going to punch my sister."

I grab her arm tighter. "Oh? You think so?" Her eyebrows are raised as high as they will allow.

My mother gives me a look and I release Tris's arm. She touches Tris's shoulder. "No, you're not." I see her hand squeeze around my sisters arm just as I had but it looks strange that my mother is doing it.

"Come on, Beatrice. We wouldn't want to bother your friend's sister," she says to sweetly, I forget that she is grasping Tris's arm for dear life.

I begin to follow, when my mother turns around.

"Andric?" She says, smiling.

"Yes, m-mom?"

"I need to talk to your sister for a moment, alone. Why don't you go back to your friends?"

"B-but I –"

She gives me a look.

"Uh, yeah, that's - that's… th-that's fine. I'll - I-I'll just, okay, uh, I…" _Shut up. Just stop talking._

She smiles and nods, I watch as my mother guides Tris through the crowd and in the direction of the dining hall.

"Hey, where'd they go?" Christina asks as I return to the little group.

"Uh, she, uh w-wanted to t-talk to Tris… Alone."

She scrunches up her face, "well, that's not fair, she hardly spoke to you."

I shrug, pretending that I'm not bothered about it. She places a hand on my shoulder.

"Maybe she has a favourite," she says quietly.

I blink. "A…a f-favourite?"

"A favourite kid, you know?" I shake my head.

"N-no my m-mother doesn't have a f-favourite. She, she loves us all the same," I say defensively, shaking my head again.

"Okay, calm down, Andy."

I look down at my watch, it's been five minutes since they left. Is it just me or does it feel like they won't be coming back? Where are they? How did my mother know where to go? Was my mother Dauntless? If so why did she change her faction? So many questions that I can't answer without her.

I make my way to the dormitory, chanting in my head.

 _Caleb's their pride, Beatrice is their joy, but what am I?_

* * *

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	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey, guys I'm back with another chapter :) I just want to say a really big sorry for not updating sooner and I may have lost followers for this :( but it's just because life is being a pain in the butt. And for the new followers that I have gained on this story… Hello and thank you :)**

 **This is quite a long chapter I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing…**

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Chapter thirteen – Rankings and beatings

The question keeps swimming in my head, like a shark circling its prey. I know I'm not as smart as Caleb, or as brave as Tris and I'm not exactly selfless either, but I just want to make my parents proud. I need to be more like Tris, I need to be better than I am. I need to be brave.

"I…I am brave!"

"I wish I was," a voice comes from the far end of the room, startling me a little.

It takes me a moment to realise who the voice belongs to. "Al? What are you d-doing here?"

He shrugs his huge shoulders.

Frowning, I walk over to his bunk and lean against the support of it.

"Your p-parents were looking f-for you before… I'm guh-guessing they didn't find you?" I ask, tilting my head to see his face better.

"I don't want to see them," he says. "I didn't want them to know how I was doing."

"What's wrong with how you're d-doing?" I sit down on the edge of his bed, he moves his leg a little, grimacing. His knee is purple and swollen with a scar across it which looks painful.

Al gives me a deadpan look, "I've lost every fight since that one with Will. Admit it, I'm not doing well."

"Yeah, but Al that's by ch-choice. I'm sure they'd under-understand, right?" He shakes his head.

I sigh, and the door to the dormitory creaks open slightly, Tris peaks her head through.

"Andy, can I talk to you for a minute?" She asks quietly, I glance at Al and he nods.

I get up from the bed and gingerly make my way over to the door. It closes with a clunk when I walk out.

"Is something wrong?" I stare at her for a minute, her face is solemn and I wait for an answer. We stand opposite each other, and I can't help but notice the height difference between us. She has changed so much, her small frame has been filled out with muscle and her face looks so thin.

"No, nothing's wrong," she says, looking down at her fingers.

"Then what?" I ask, concerned. I lift her chin so her eyes meet mine.

She sniffles, and wipes her nose. "Mom had to leave."

"She l-l-left?" I'm hurt, she left without saying goodbye?

"We came to find you but…" She trails of into a sob. My eyes widen, my sister is crying? Why?

"Hey, don't… Don't cry. There is n-no need for you to cry," I pull her into a hug, her small arms tighten around me.

"I feel bad that you didn't get to spend time with her."

 _Oh._

"Don't w-worry about it," I say.

"Are you sure?" She sniffles again.

"Yup, but will you do m-me a favour and t-talk to Al? I need to do something," I lie.

She nods, she opens the door to the dormitory, but turns around. "Oh, Andy?"

"Hmm?"

"Mom said to go eat some chocolate cake for her." The door closes.

 _Chocolate cake?_

* * *

The chasm is dark and empty, for that I'm grateful. No one will be able to hear or see me cry. Yes, I'm sad that I didn't get to spend time with my mother and yes I'm crying like a little baby about it. I wipe the tears with the back of my hand and lean against the rails watching waves hit the rocks.

Alone, sometimes it makes things better, other times it can make things worse. Being alone right now is making me feel happier about everything, it gives me time to think and just be me.

* * *

I can't help but roll my eyes. If I hear someone mention Stage one rankings one more time I swear I will stamp and their tongue I can't bear to think about my own ranking, never mind anyone else's. God help me I'll be lucky if I'm actually on the board.

At dinner Tris, Christina, Will, Al and I sit at a table in the corner. Trust us to choose a spot where Peter, Drew and Molly sit near, it doesn't give off the best of vibes.

Eventually, like all conversations ours has come to a bore. In other words we nothing interesting to talk about. Not that I was listening anyway, the only reason I realised was because I could hear everyone around us talking about rankings. Who would have guessed?

"You weren't allowed to have _pets_?" Christina demands, smacking the table with her palm causing me to jump, and drop my last fork full of pasta salad in the floor with a clatter. "Why not?" She adds, while I try to pick my fork back up from under the table.

"Because they're illogical," Will says flatly. I'm too busy trying to get my fork that I don't pay attention to what he is saying.

"I g-got it!" I say, bumping my head as I get from under the table. _Ow!_ I rub my throbbing head, and then place the fork carefully on the table.

They look at me with eye brows raised and Al chuckles. Christina shakes her head, "the _point_ is…" She tilts her head, unable to think of a good enough reason. "Well, they're fun to have. I had a bulldog named Chunker." She reminisces a time when her dog ate a chicken or something.

I pick up a chocolate muffin and begin picking bits off, placing them in my mouth.

"Yes, that certainly changes my mind. Of course I want to live with an animal that eats all my food and destroys my kitchen." Will shakes his head. "Well, why don't you just get a dog after initiation?" Will asks.

"Because…" Christina's smile falls, and she beings to poke her potato with her fork. "Dogs are kinda done for me after… you know, the aptitude test."

This is awkward. We all exchange looks. Everyone knows that we aren't allowed to talk about it, not even after we have already chosen our factions. You are not allowed to share your result with anyone, but they don't seem to care. My palms become sweaty, so I wipe them on my jeans.

 _"You're Divergent. Your mind doesn't work in the same way. Under any circumstances do not tell anyone about it."_ Kendry's voice lingers in my head. I swallow hard and look down at my hands.

"You mean… killing the dog, right?" Will asks, quietly.

Feed the dog Cheese and you get Amity. Choose the Knife and stab the dog and you get Dauntless. I did neither.

Christina killed the dog to get Dauntless. No wonder she doesn't want one after initiation, it's scarred her for life.

I lean against my chair and being to chew on my thumb nail, trying to avoid all eye contact.

"Yeah," Christina says, quietly. "I mean, you guys all had to do that too, right?" Looks around the table at Al, then at Tris and me. Her eyes narrow, "you guys didn't."

My nail chewing increases.

"Hmm?" Tris hums.

"You're hiding something, the both of you are fidgeting," she says.

"What?" Tris and I say in unison.

"In Candor," Al says, nudging Tris's little shoulder, and gives me a nod. "We learn to read body language so we know when someone is lying or keeping something from us." That makes me a little uneasy, and I instantly quit chewing on my thumb nail.

"Oh." Tris says, scratching the back of her neck. "Well…" she clasps her hand on her hip. "No, I didn't kill the dog."

If Tris didn't kill the dog… why did she choose Dauntless? Did she just choose this life to leave the monotonous life in Abnegation? Or is it because she didn't know which faction she fitted into? Because she was Divergent… like me.

"How did you get Dauntless without using the knife?" Christina urges the answers, and Will stares with narrowed eyes.

"I didn't," she says calmly. "I got Abnegation."

Abnegation?

"Did you get Abnegation too, Andy?" Christina's eyes shift to me, and I swallow whipping my hands on my jeans.

"…N-no I got D-Dauntless," I say, shakily.

Technically, I'm not lying… sort of.

She raises a brow and Will looks even more suspicious.

"How if you didn't kill the dog?" Will insists, his eyes like orbs of curiosity.

"B-but I-I did," I lie, but I don't think it was convincing enough. "Look, w-were aren't even m-meant to ta-talk about this," I say, shifting my gaze to my sweaty hands.

"Yeah, but –"

Everyone is silent for what seems like an eternity, until Al breaks the silence. "Hey, if Andy is uncomfortable talking about it then maybe we shouldn't push him." He gives a look at Will.

After Al convinces everyone to stop talking about the test, which I'm thankful for, we all leave for the dormitory. On the way there I get a few nudges in my side, from people pushing past causing me to scrape my elbow on the uneven walls of the Pit.

When we enter the dormitory it is crowded, but I manage to peak through the gaps between people. The board is on the floor, leaning against Four's leg, facing away from us.

"For those of you who have just came in, I'm explaining how the ranks are determined," Four says. "After the first rounds of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The number of points you earn depends on your skill level and the skill level of the person you beat. You earn more points for beating a person of a higher skill level. I don't reward preying on the weak; that is cowardice."

For a moment I swear his eyes linger on Peter for longer than the rest of us.

"If you have a high rank, you lose points for losing to a low-ranked opponent."

Molly lets out an ugly grumble sound, resembling that of a pig.

"Stage two of training is weighted more heavily than stage one, because it is more closely tied to overcoming cowardice," Four explains. Apparently, it's extremely difficult to get a high rank in initiation if you have a low one in stage one. He didn't say it was impossible, though.

I bite on my lip anxiously.

"We will announce the cuts tomorrow," he says. He explains that the transfer rankings are taken into consideration because we are not Dauntless born. Either four of us could get cut and none of them or vice versa. Its fifty – fifty.

"Here are your rankings," he says, hanging up the board on the hook, stepping aside so we can see.

1\. Edward

2\. Peter

3\. Will

4\. Christina

5\. Molly

6\. Tris

7\. Andy

Seventh? How on earth did I manage to get seventh? That win with Drew must have boosted my ranking, luckily.

8\. Drew

9\. Al

10\. Myra

I grimace when I see where Al is on the list. He is nearly at rock bottom, but not quite. If no Dauntless born initiates get cut he could fail and become factionless. Everyone's face seems to look like a smacked bottom.

The room is so silent you could cut the air with a Knife.

Molly is the one to kill by opening her big mouth.

"What?" She demands, pointing her finger at Christina. "I beat her! I beat her in minutes, and she is ranked above me?"

I roll my eyes and go over to my bunk, blocking everything out. I could still end up being factionless if I no Dauntless born get cut.

"And you, Andy number seven," Christina smiles, I shrug and give an awkward smile back.

"We should celebrate!" Will suggests.

Al and I decide to drop out of the celebration. Al went straight to bed and I just sat on my bed for a while, thinking. Peter didn't seem to react when he saw his ranking, but I can tell he doesn't feel satisfied with only being in second place. There is a dark look in his eye and I don't like the thought of what might happen.

* * *

That night sleep doesn't come easy to me, if at all. Sometimes I wonder if sleep was easier in Abnegation, but I can't seem to remember. After a while of lying in bed with my eyes burning holes in the bunk above, it creaks and moves slightly. Nature calls I assume, but the dormitory door doesn't open or close, it unnerves me that it's Drew. I had to pick the bunk with one of the minions of Peter.

A few moments later there is shuffling, but the shuffling sounds like it belongs to more than just one person. I hear a thud and then… a scream that could make blood run dry echoes from the other side of the room. I see shadows running that head for the door that opens and closes quickly; one of them had to be Drew and the only other suspect had to be Peter. Everyone get up and investigate. I squint and see a lump on the floor that gives out another wail of pain.

I slowly get out of bed, not caring that I'm only wearing a vest and underwear.

"Turn on the lights!" Someone shouts, and the lights are on in a matter of seconds making everything easier to see. Edward is on the floor clutching his face, I look closer and something seems to be sticking out of his eye; a butter knife.

Tris is by Edward's side trying to comfort him, which would be anyone's instinct. I on the other hand make my way to the door closing it carefully behind me. I don't know why I'm going to confront them, I don't even know what I'm going to say. All I know is that they need to know that they have done a really stupid thing.

I find them near one of the equipment closets past the Pit. They're laughing, probably at what they had done to Edward.

 _Just be brave._

"You guys are nothing but c-cowards!" They both stop laughing and turn around. _What am I doing?_

"Oh would ya look at that, it's the St-st-stiff." Drew smirks, mocking me. Peter pushes Drew aside and comes closer to me.

"What's it got to do with you, Stiff?" Peter's lips pull up into a sneer.

"You didn't n-need to hurt Edward just b-because he beat you!" I spit. "Only a coward w-would do something like that."

"And I suppose only people that aren't cowards would just… let it slide?" He raises a brow. "Come on, Stiff we're at Dauntless not at Amity picking flowers." He shoves my shoulder, hard making me lose my balance.

"Dauntless don't p-put up with cowardice, P-Peter, and I don't think F-Four will be pleased when he finds out that it w-was you." I turn on my heel to leave, when a clammy hand slams over my mouth and another twists my arm up behind my back pulling me close.

"You think we're just going to let you walk off like that?"

I squirm and try to yell but all that comes out is incoherent squeals. My free arm flies at the hand clasped over my face.

"Drew get here!" Drew shuffles over to us. "How did you feel when you got beaten up by a Stiff?"

"Angry, and embarrassed and –"

"Yeah, I get it." I can feel Peter's breath skimming over my head. My heart is out of my chest and I can hardly breathe. "Well, I think you deserve a second chance," I can hear the smirk in his voice.

Drew smiles evilly.

"I'm gonna move my hand, and if you scream I swear I will throw you into the chasm. Do you understand?" I nod, his hand moves from my mouth and his arm comes around my neck making me gag, with my breath coming out shakily, but I stay silent.

Drew's fist flies strait at my face. I squeak in pain and Peter's arm around my neck gets tighter. My nose feels numb and my head is light, I roll my eyes back trying to regain sight.

Another punch, and another. Every punch and kick is agony, my body feels heavy. This carries on until I can barely stand on my own two feet and my head flops

forward.

"I think the Stiff is done, Pete." All I can hear are mumbles. Peter lets go and because he was lifting my weight, my body is so limp that I drop to the floor.

"Yeah, maybe," he says and gives me one last kick to the stomach.

I don't care anymore, I let my eyes close and seep into darkness.

* * *

 **A/N: O_O I'm so mean, poor Andy. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner and happier.**

 **Thank you for reading guys and your reviews are always welcome.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry it took this long to update, but here it is chapter fourteen :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent.**

* * *

Chapter fourteen – Meet me

My brain feels like its been replaced will cotton balls. I try to open my eyes, but only one complies as the other is firmly swelled shut. My surroundings have changed, I'm no longer dying at the side of the Pit and instead dying in a hospital bed. As i try to adjust myself to a comfier position, I feel something tug from my arm; an IV drip is in the crook of my arm, taped firmly keeping it in place. Rolling my eyes… eye, I finish getting comfy, well as comfy as I can possibly get.

I notice that I am no longer wearing my vest, I'm bare chested. My bruised body is on show for the whole of Dauntless to see. I can't seem to breathe correctly, every time I do it comes out in gasps and uneven breaths, my chest is so tight it feels like it's going to rip in two.

My one good eye drifts shut, wishing for sleep and rest. A sound of someone clearing their throat makes my reopen slightly. A short woman, with pitch black long hair that covers her eyes, stands at the end of my bed.

"Sorry to wake you. I just needed to check on you," her voice is just noises that my brain can't seem to register.

I just stare at her.

She comes closer. I notice that her bottom lip his pierced at an odd angle and her eyes look tired.

"What happened?" Now that she is so close her voice rings right through my ears, making my eye squint from it.

I stay silent for a moment. "I…I f-fell…" I breathe, my voice is horse and my throat feels like it's on fire. I place a hand over my ribs as I take a deep breath.

"Oh sure, 'coz those marks on your chest aren't knuckle prints at all," she presses hard on one of my bruises, causing me to hiss threw my teeth and flinch away.

"St-stop it." It comes out as a whimper, making her smirk.

"Look, I'm sorry, I guess I just hate it when people lie," she gives me a pointed look.

Candor. She was obviously a Candor.

"Old habits die hard," she smiles, when she does, the piercing in her lip straightens.

I grimace, still holding my ribs.

"Anyway, I need to ask you a few questions," she says, and I nod slightly.

"Are you experiencing any headaches?"

I shake my head; no.

"Hm. Are in pain?"

"I've b-been beaten to a pulp, of course I'm in pain!" I snap, raising my head off of the pillow, slightly.

She smirks. "Beaten, you say? I thought you said you fell," I roll my good eye, groaning with annoyance.

Her unnatural blue eyes beam at my dismay, only making me more annoyed.

"How l-long have I b-been here?" I ask, lowering my head back to the pillow.

"About four hours now."

I groan. Four hours? I need to leave.

Ignoring the burning pain that runs through my whole body, I try my best to get up only to have a small, cold hand press against my chest pushing me back down.

"Whoa, where do you think you're going?" Her hand presses down harder causing me to wince. "You need to rest."

"Get off m-me." My breathing quickens, coming out in sharp breathes. I grab her wrist and yank her closer.

Her face looks no longer amused, she looks scared, but I don't care.

"TOUCH ME AGAIN AND I SWEAR…" Gritting my teeth I tighten my hold, digging my nails into her skin just enough for a small squeal to escape her pink lips.

That's when I feel it. The small prick of a needle in the side of my neck. Everything goes blurry for a while before all I see is black.

* * *

"Hey, look who's up." I hear her before I see her, Christina sits at the bottom of my bed with her legs crossed.

"You look like death warmed up," Al chuckles, shuffling his huge form toward us.

"I f-feel like it." I choke out, trying to force a laugh. I look around, frowning. "W-where's Tris?"

Al shrugs. "We haven't seen her since this morning."

I nod and Christina breaks the silence.

"We know what happened to you," Christina says with a pitying smile, her eyes scan my exposed body.

"Y-you do?" my face falls and I pull up the covers.

"No, but it's not hard to guess." Al muttered.

I sigh in relief, if they knew that Peter and Drew had did this I would never be able to look them in the eyes. Just the thought of Peter makes a knot appear in my stomach. The fact that they don't know brings me some peace of mind, I couldn't live with the embarrassment of them knowing about me not being able to defend myself.

Will walks in with a bottle of water in his hand, holding it from the lid, swaying it.

"Ah, you're up. The sedatives wore off then?" Christina gives him a look, which he raises a brow at.

"Sedatives?" I ask, staring at them. Al glances at the ceiling and Christina sighs.

"They had to sedate you because… apparently you went all crazy and hurt a nurse." Christian says, shrugging it off as if it were nothing.

I stay silent, then nod.

After a couple of minutes of awkward silence, Will speaks up.

"We have good news," he says with a grin trying to lighten the mood. "You didn't get cut, Edward and Myra quit and two Dauntless that I can't remember the names of got cut."

I don't know if that is a good thing. I don't think I could cope being around Peter and drew after last night.

* * *

The canteen is half full, we sit at a table in the middle of the room.

After numerous protests that I wait and rest, I ignored them and followed anyway. I was bored of resting, plus I was starving, my stomach had been rumbling since the moment I had woken up.

Will had bought some of my clothes from the dormitory for me to wear; a shirt with sleeves that only go past my shoulders and a pair of black jeans.

There is still no sign of Tris, I wonder where she has got to.

I'm on my fourth fork full of chicken salad, when two men in blue come up to us. I recognise one of them as Kendry, the person that did my aptitude test. What is he doing here? What do they want? I've never seen Erudite in the Dauntless compound before. Has Kendry told them that I'm divergent? I feel the blood drain from my body, are they here to take me away?

The short one, who reminds me of a ferret with his dark, beady eyes speaks first.

"Hello," he says. His voice sounds so put on, it's pretentious and snooty. "I am Maddox and this is Kendry, we're here to ask some questions." Kendry stares at me, his eyes are not soft like when I was taking the test, they look worn and hollow. His face holds no emotion. I can't help but think of what might have happened.

Christina has her nose scrunched and her eye brows furrowed.

"Look, what makes you think we're going to answer your stupid questions, _Madcox?"_ She says, deliberately getting his name wrong.

Al chuckles and Will covers his mouth to repress one. For a moment I'm sure that Kendry had a small smirk on his lips, it was a blink and you would miss it moment. But it was there.

The man is clearly appalled, his cheeks are a tinge of pink. Maddox straightens his suit jacket and then smooths down his dull sandy hair.

"I want to know your thoughts on the leadership of Abnegation," he says, his voice all whiny.

My stomach lurches at the name of my old faction. Erudite has had it in for Abnegation since I can remember. Erudite coming to ask questions gives me an unsettling feeling, maybe they're asking Candor too.

"And what exactly does the leadership of Abnegation have anything to do with you, you big nosed weasel with glasses?" She says it so casually, then I remember she was literally brought up this way, it just rolls off her tongue. Though, she wasn't wrong he does have a rather big nose.

"Now there is no need to insult me, madam." He puffs his chest out and pushes glasses up.

While all of this is going on I suddenly feel a light tap and my shoulder, turning a little to see Kendry wondering out of the cafeteria, beckoning me to follow.

Will raises a brow at me, I hold a finger up letting him know I'll be one minute. He nods and carries on listening to the rant of Christina and the ferret dude.

* * *

Kendry leads me down past the Pit and into a corner of the compound.

"W-what are we d-doing?" I ask, my one good eye staring at him waiting for a reply.

He looks at me, just looks. "I need to tell you something."

"What, and w-why are we in a c-corner?"

"Hiding from the cameras, but I can't tell you here. I need you to meet me," he takes my hand, holding it longer than he needed to, grazing his thumb along my bruised knuckles.

I move my hand, curling it in. His touch made me feel a little uncomfortable. Kendry looked embarrassed, I could tell by the way he turned his head.

"You… you have to meet me outside of Erudite, before your final test."

I just nod, I don't really think much of it, but he seems desperate.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He says, removing from the inside of his jacket; a gun.

"Whoa, K-Kendry, w-what…" he hands it to me, I hesitate then take it. "Where d-did you get this?"

"Dauntless aren't exactly the kind of people to lock their equipment up. I have a feeling you might need it."

I'm not sure what to say, so I say nothing and just stare at the small hand gun that feels so right in my hand.

* * *

As soon as Kendry leaves, I take the gun to the dormitory and hide it in my cabinet, covering it over with my clothes so no one will find it.

* * *

Later that day, we're back in the cafeteria and Tris shows up looking like a she has been standing the opposite direction of the wind all day. Her hair is tangled, it looks as though a bird could live in it. The expression on her face tells me that she'd had fun, she looked utterly thrilled.

She smiles, then waves at one of the Dauntless.

 _Oh, that's where she's been._

Christina, Al and Will all gape at her, while I just lower my head and carry on eating, assuming that she'll say something about my face, but she doesn't. She's probably too absorbed by her fun fulfilled day to even notice.

She explained that she was with the Dauntless when Christina asked where she was and that one of them; Lynn had stepped on her. I feel a twinge of jealousy in the pit of my stomach, she says she was glad to be back, but I know she secretly liked it better when she was with them.

Will tells her about the little hissy fit about the Erudite and Christina, though I can tell she isn't all that interested.

Tomorrow is the second stage of initiation, meaning that I have actually made it past the first stage. Now all I have to do is make it past second.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I'm sorry for not updating sooner here is the next chapter ...**

* * *

Chapter fifteen – Stage two

If all we have to do for stage two is sit in a dark hallway, then it doesn't seem so bad. But I doubt that it would the Dauntless would make it _that_ easy for us.

Christina is on my right and a dauntless boy that I haven't seen before is sat to my left. Both the transfers and Dauntless born are now together, unlike before where were separated in stage one. According to Four, we will be training together from now on, he told us that before he disappeared behind the door farther down the corridor.

Tris sits a few people up from me and Christina, Will is next to Christina with Al sitting one up from him.

"So," a familiar voice says; Lynn. I hear her scuff her shoes along the floor several times. "Which one of you is ranked first, huh?"

Her question is answered with silence at first, and then Peter clears his throat and answers that it was him.

Just hearing his voice makes me sick to my stomach. He was only in first place because he cheated, hurting someone on purpose to get what he wanted. My stomach twists, he is a vile and vindictive piece of trash. He didn't deserve to be in first place, he doesn't even deserve to be in Dauntless.

"Bet I could take you." I hear Lynn say, from farther up the line.

"I'm second, but I bet any of us could take you, transfer."

I grimace, I wouldn't like to see her try for her sake. Peter is a snake, a really venomous snake that does anything to get what he wants, and no doubt he would find a way to beat her, even if she is good enough.

All of the conversations going around in the hallway, skim past my ears. I can't seem to make out who is talking and who isn't. All I can hear is mumbles, nothing seems to be getting through to my brain. I'm not sure if it's because I'm still feeling woozy from the sedative, or the fact that I'm going to be called into a room unknowing of what is to come from it.

Name by name gets called to go into the room until it's just a few of us left.

The door opens, its Four he beckons Tris to go in. I watch her walk into the room and close the door. I sigh, she hasn't talked to me nearly all day.

It's just me, a Dauntless initiate; Uriah and Drew left.

I am unable to think of anything other than what is to come. I am anxious about the outcome, what will happen? What does it include?

I close my eyes, and wipe my palms on my jeans, my breathing is a little hitched. After about ten minutes, Tris still hasn't came back out had something happened?

"Andy, your turn." Four says, heading back into the small room.

I pick at my fingers nervously, and walk into the room closing the door behind me slowly.

I don't move, I can't help staring at the reclining metal chair, the one that looks so similar to the one I sat in during the aptitude test. There is a desk with a computer on it in the corner of the room.

"Don't just stand there, sit down."

I almost forgot that I wasn't alone. I shuffle toward the chair and sink myself in it. He stares at me, he has an eyebrow cocked up.

"Where did Tris g-go?" I ask, quietly and avoid his gaze.

"I let her out the back," Four nods to the door behind the desk.

I sigh, maybe she got upset and didn't want anyone to see her cry. I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Four's voice.

"You're about to face your fears."

"Muh-my fears?" I ask, slightly confused, facing my fears wasn't the kind of thing I had in mind.

"Hmm, that is what I said, Stiff." He says, tapping a large syringe that has a very long needle on the end. The liquid inside has an orange tinge to it. An injection? "You're going to be put into a simulation, it will teach you how to control your emotions in the midst of a frightening situation." I can't remember getting an injection the last time.

It's just a simulation I tell myself; nothing that I haven't done before. I shouldn't be afraid of something that isn't real, it won't really hurt me, right? Not if I don't let it, that is. I wonder what my fears will be, I wonder how they will play out in my mind during the simulation.

It's only then that I notice that Four hasn't placed any wires on my head, isn't that how it works?

"Wh-where are the wires?" I ask, my mouth is dry and I feel slightly ill, when brings the syringe up to my neck.

"We use a more advanced version of the simulation," he says, tapping the syringe again. "You don't need wires, or electrodes; we use a different serum for this."

"B-But how does it work?"

"You're just like your sister, do you know that?" He says, "asking so many questions, are you sure you weren't meant for Erudite?" His eyes narrow a little.

I stay quiet, and look away from his glare.

He sighs. "I wear the wires so I can see what you see, but for you, there's a tinsy transmitter in the serum that sends data to the computer." I open my mouth, then close it when I see him giving me a look as if to tell me to shut up.

He comes closer, placing the tip of the needle into my neck; slowly pressing plunger of the syringe down with his thumb, making me wince a little. My hands grip the edge of the seat with my nails scraping against the metal.

"The faster you calm yourself, the quicker you will get out of the hallucination." He moves back over to the desk. "You have a minute until it affects you, anything you want to ask?" Four just stares at me with a brow raised.

I gulp and shake my head. If I asked anymore questions he'd probably throw me out of the room, he didn't seem to be in the best of moods with me.

My head feels heavy and my eyes drift shut.

"You just have to remember to be brave."

* * *

When I wake up, I'm in the middle of Abnegation. The sky is the colour of Abnegation garb, everything is grey, the ground, the houses, even the people.

I am wearing a pair of white trousers, a white shirt and white shoes. What does this mean?

People push past me as if I'm not there, it's as if I am walking through a sea of dullness.

It begins to rain, and everyone seems to shuffle their feet at little faster to get to their home so they don't get stuck in the storm. The roads are now empty.

My stomach knots, what's going on? Is this my fear? I don't understand. I carry on up the road to my old home. The rain is becoming heavier and my pristine, white clothes become soaked through.

The buildings overcast shadows throughout the compound, making it darker than it really is. Gloomy, rain filled clouds hang over my head and seem to follow me where I walk.

I get to my home and grab the handle, only to find that the door is locked shut. We never used to lock the door. Why was it locked?

A sharp beam of light cracks across the sky. I shiver and make my way to the window; my family sit in the small dark dining room, only four plates, only four chairs. My heart hurts, I don't know what is happening. I knock on the window with my knuckles.

"Hello? M-mom? Dad? Caleb? Let me in, pl-please." A shiver runs through my body and my chest hurts. They can't hear me, another flash of lightning and a rumble of thunder hits though the sky. My face is not only wet with rain, but with tears too.

The window is being pelted with rain droplets and wipe it with my soaked sleeve. Tris gives me a blank stare through the fogged up glass. She looks at me as if she doesn't know who I am.

"Tris, please… let m-me in," I cry and bang on the window again. "It's me Andy!" She tilts her head and closes the blind.

"No. No, puh-lease, Tris." I bang again, only my hands fade through the window. I pull back and look at my hands, that slowly begin to disappear in front of me.

I'm becoming nothing, I'm fading away and nothing can stop it. I'm dying, my legs are the next to disappear. The rain pours down on my vanishing body, almost as if it is washing it away. The thumping of my heart gets louder and my eyes are swollen from crying.

It's not real I remind myself. I would have to calm myself, Four said. That's the only way I'll get out of this.

I feel numb, my limbs are gone. There was only a matter of time before I completely dissolved in the heavy pour of rain.

I needed to breathe. Just breathe. Breathe.

My heart begins to regulate and my chest stops hurting.

My eyes open and I'm sat back in the room. My breathing is so unsteady, check to see if I'm still real. My hands are intact; bruised but they are there. I sob and cover my face with my arms that I wrapped around my chest.

Four places a hand on my shoulder and I flinch away.

"It's over, you're fine."

 _I don't feel fine._

I shake my head to make sense of everything. Wiping my eyes I get up from the chair and storm out of the room, ignoring whatever it is Four has to say. I feel so stupid, so overwhelmed by what had just happened.

* * *

The chasam seems so peaceful, even though the waves crash against the rocks so vigorously. I lean on the railing, just watching as the rocks get beaten with water. The view is something that no one would forget. Jagged stone, glistening and flowing water, the swooshing sound when the water hits the half submerged boulders; unforgettable.

Unforgettable.

Fading away; forgetting.

I sigh and wrap my arms around myself, closing my eyes.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading even though I know this was a bit of a crappy one :/ Sorry, I had a bit of writers block. The next chapter should be up sooner as I have a lot more time to write.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen - Feelings?

Everything was different in Abnegation. Even me, even Tris. We used to tell each other everything. You'd think that just because we weren't the same gender meant we didn't share anything, but that's not true. I think that in spite of our genders we got on a lot better. You could say that we're the same, but different. We _were_ the same.

I knew that she had a slight crush on our neighbour, Robert before we left Abnegation. I knew that she wasn't afraid to stand out in anything. There are so many things she had told me when we were still at home. But now… now it's different, now she doesn't talk to me, she doesn't even look at me. What have I done? I can't be pushing her, I haven't even spoken to her in goodness knows how long. Am I the one in the wrong? Is it because I didn't stick up for her when Peter was humiliating her? Do I embarrass her? I don't know, she doesn't tell me things now.

I daren't tell her anything about myself anymore, in fright that it might get it thrown in my face later. She is my twin; born two minutes and 34 seconds before me. Twin. It's just a word now, it doesn't mean anything to me anymore I suppose that's what she thinks too.

Maybe, I'd be better off on my own. I can't be forgotten by anyone if I have no one, right? I sigh and push open the dormitory door.

Dauntless initiates stand in rows by the bunks, Peter stands in the center of the room holding a piece of paper in his hands. Have I missed something? Tris stands at the side not far from the door. I try not to take notice of her and try to concentrate on what's going on.

" _The mass exodus of the children of Abnegation leaders cannot be ignored or attributed to coincidence,"_ he read with a smirk. " _The recent transfer of Beatrice, Caleb and Andric Prior, children of Andrew Prior, calls into question the soundness of Abnegation's values and teachings."_

A shiver runs through my body. This is not good at all. I take a peek at Tris; her face is drained of colour, she looks broken. I catch a glimpse of Christina give us both a worried look. First Erudite attacked Abnegation, now they are targeting my father. My stomach twists and churns, my sweaty palms are quickly wiped on my jeans.

" _Why else would the children of such an important man decide that the lifestyle he has set for them is not an admirable one?"_ Peter continues. " _Molly Atwood and Drew Dunsky, fellow Dauntless transfers, suggests a disturbed and abusive upbringing might be to blame. 'I heard her talking in her sleep once,' Molly says. 'She was telling her father to stop doing something. I don't know what it was, but it gave her nightmares.' Drew agrees, saying, 'I heard her brother crying in his sleep a couple times, and stuttering out some words I couldn't understand, but it sounded like he was telling someone to not put him in somewhere.'"_

My hands clench into fists. Oh, that stupid Erudite weasel he must have spoken to them after Christina shouted at him. Why didn't Kendry stop this? I grimace, then I remember his face when he was here; hollow and lifeless. Maybe Erudite isn't as perfect as they make people believe they are.

" _What?"_ My head turns to the direction of Tris, people turn to face her too and Peter stops reading. Some people give us pitied looks, where other smirk and laugh. Peter is the last person to turn to Tris, his face plastered with a big grin.

"Give me that," she says, holding out her small hand. Her face is beat red. I move closer to her, but she doesn't seem to notice.

"But I'm not done reading," he replies, laughing a little. Peter's dark eyes scan over the paper once again. " _However, perhaps the answer lies not in a morally beret man, but in the corrupted ideals of an entire faction. Perhaps the answers is that we have entrusted our city to a group of proselytizing tyrants who do not know how to lead us out of poverty and into prosperity."_

I have to do a double take to notice that Tris has decided to storm towards Peter. I quickly follow after her, she tries to snatch the paper from Peter's hands only for him to lift it above her head. Several seconds later I see Peter staffing a groan, she had stood on his foot. She was becoming reckless, yes I was angry about what was happening, but nothing could be done.

She lunges at Molly, I grab her before she can do any damage. "Tris," I say. Her arm tug awkwardly and her elbow connects with my face. I let go of her and Will takes my place in restraining her. My vision is a little blurred, I wipe my nose with my fingers; blood. No one seems to notice that my sister has just battered me other than Will who tries to keep Tris under control.

" _That's my father!"_ She screams. "That's my father, you coward!" She squirms on the ground as Will picks her up.

I make my way out of the dormitory, cupping my nose and trying to stop the bleed. I walk down the hall into the bathroom, it's empty. I sigh, that means everyone of the initiates are in the dorm and have witnessed the controversy of my sister and Peter.

I get one of the paper towels and dab the blood from my nose. The door opens and then closes, I continue dabbing at my nose.

It's Christina, her hand touches my shoulder lightly.

"You're n-not supposed to be in here," I say quietly.

She shrugs. " I came to see if you were alright… are you?"

"I'm f-fine…" I wince, I see her smirk in the mirror.

"You don't look fine, let me help," she takes the paper towel from me and turns me around to face her.

"It was an acc...an accident, she d-didn't mean it." All I can taste is metal, and I grimace.

She just nods. Her fingers are cold as they brush gently against my cheek as she wipes the blood from my face.

"I should ha-have said something… d-done something," I sigh. "I'm useless."

Christina stops what she's doing, her dark liquid eyes stare at me. She shakes her head, " you're not useless, Andy. You're just…" She pauses, tilting her head.

"I'm what?"

"You're just different…" I give her a look. "Good different, though." She smiles, it gives me a strange feeling like fluttering in my stomach.

I shrug. "It's just… all of a s-sudden I f-feel like I don't belong here, you kn-know?" I can't look her in the eyes, she places one of her hands on mine. "And I feel like Tris hates me, sh-she hasn't spoken to me, she w-won't look at me. I don't know what I've done." My cheeks are wet now, I try to hide the fact that I'm crying.

"You belong here just like everyone else does." She pats my hand. "I'm sure Tris doesn't hate you, she's been every distant with all of us lately, Andy. She'll come 'round." I grab her hand in mine, I take a glance at her face; a soft smile lingers on her sweet lips. I can't help but smile back at her, just looking at her makes my mood lighten. She's like a beam in the dark.

I stare at her for a moment, and pull my hand up to her face; gently caressing her smooth skin.

"Andy, what are you -" I place my hand behind her head and close my eyes and I press my lips against hers. Her full, sweet and soft lips. Butterflies flutter around in my stomach. The taste of strawberries lingers on mine, the warmth of them fills me with a sense of comfort.

I pull back slowly, opening my eyes. I smile and bite my lip, turning a deep shade of crimson. She just stares at me, not saying a word.

I let go of her hand and she tries to discreetly wipe her mouth. "Uh, maybe we should get back to the others," she says, avoiding my gaze.

I'm confused, isn't she meant to be happy? Did I do it wrong? Did I press too hard? I can't even kiss right.

Christina shuffles awkwardly out of the bathroom, I quickly wipe my eyes before I follow.

I trail behind her back to the dormitory, Will, Tris and Al stand by the door. Christina picks up her speed and joins them by the door.

"Hey, it's my turn to get tattooed," she says. I stand by her but she doesn't look at me. "Wanna come?" It's aimed at Tris, perhaps to get her mind off of what Peter had done.

She smoothes her hair down, her expression is unsure. But she agrees.

They walk right past me, again I just trail behind.

* * *

Ahead of me and Tris, Al gives Christina a piggyback which makes me slightly jealous, at the amount of fun she is having. She hasn't looked or spoke to me since the kiss. I sigh and carry on walking with Tris by my side. She got another tattoo; the Dauntless seal on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I hit you…" She whispers so Will can't hear what we're saying.

"It's f-fine." I shrug. _It's not fine though, is it? The one time she speaks to me after goodness knows how long, and it's an apology because she hit me in the face._ That's all she says before Will looks over at her, smirking. "I still can't believe you got another tattoo," he shakes his head.

I ignore their little talk, not wanting to get involved with the fact that Tris had decided to rant about her being a ' _Stiff'._

I got a cover up on the tattoo on my wrist, it still stings a little. The name Christopher has now been covered by the Abnegation seal, I felt like I needed to feel more connected to my family. Lets face it I'm not that connected to anyone. Maybe, one day I could be… I take a glance at Christina who is still sitting happily on Al's back and sigh shaking my head.

Four stands by the chasm, a small group of people stand by him. He holds on to the rail for support when he laughs too hard and almost loses his balance. Judging by the glass bottle in he holds in his hand and the redness of his face, he's drunk, or very nearly. He seems so relaxed, unlike the rigid ass he usually is.

"Uh-oh," says Will. "instructor alert." I smirk.

"At least it's not Eric," Tris says. "He'd probably make us play chicken or something."

I doubt Eric would dare let anyone see him in a state like this, he's too smart for that, it would ruin his ego.

We reminisce about the time Four almost made Peter pee himself when he pulled the gun on him. I have to admit Four usually was scary, but now he just seemed so down to earth, his face isn't tensed up like it always is.

What surprises me is that he calls after my sister over. I glance over at her, I can't tell what emotions her face holds as she is turned toward Will.

Four pushes himself away from the railing and comes over, heading toward Tris. Ahead of us Al and Christina stop running and Christina slides down from Al's back. I can't help but stare at Tris and Four, and a rush of apprehension fills my body. What did he want? It's like he singled her out, there are five of us here, yet he only talks to Tris.

"You look different." He slurs, yup he's definitely drunk. I assume what he means by this is the new shirt she is wearing; rather exposing really, also the light touch of makeup she wears does make her eyes stand out a little more.

"So do you," she says, staring at him. "What are you doing?"

"Flirting with death," he replies with a laugh. I raise a brow a them and look over at Will, who can't seem to close his mouth. "Drinking near the chasm. Probably not a good idea." Not if you want to die, I roll my eyes.

"Didn't know you had a tattoo," he eyes her collarbone, a little longer than I'd like him too.

He takes a sip from the bottle, I see Tris grimace slightly.

"Right. The _crows._ " He says. Did something happen with crows? I frown, confused.

He was going to ask her to hang out with him and his friends? Really? Turns out we're not meant to see him _pissed._

He gets a little too close to her for my comfort when he whispers in her ear. I think this fear thing has actually made me invisible. Am I even here right now? Is this reall? Am I real? Is he hitting on my sister? All of this thought makes me anxious, my hands are still visible.

I bite my lip and turn to Will… I punch him on the shoulder.

"OW!" He exclaims, jumping out of his daze. "What was that for?" He rubs his injured arm.

"S-sorry! Sorry, uh, I was just ch-checking something..." I'm real, I'm here.

Will gives me a look. "Checking what? Andy, you can't just hit people like that," he says, glaring at me.

"Sorry, W-Will." I rub my thumb along the palm of my hand, lowering my head.

He just shakes his head. He clears his throat at Tris when Four walks away, her eyes stare after him.

Al comes bounding over with a huge smile on his face and throws my sister over his mountain of a shoulder. She shrieks from shock and her face becomes red. I chuckle.

"Come on, little girl," Al says, "I'm taking you to dinner." The perfect rescue mission, I try to repress a laugh.

"What was that all about?" Al sets Tris back down on the floor.

"Uh, Tris -" I say, but get interrupted by Christina rushing past me and up to Tris. "Yeah, I think we'd all like to know the answer to that question," she practically sings it. "What did he say to you?"

Okay, I already hit Will… do I need to kick someone too?

I look back over to where Four stands, he takes another swig out of the bottle. I think for a minute, if Four has the eye for my sister… does Tris like him back?

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading!**

 **Guest - Thank you for your review :) when I read the chapter back, I thought; 'Oh no, what have I done?!' But I guess that's' the way it's flowing at the moment… He's feeling really left out at the minute :( but hopefully Tris and Andy rekindle their relationship soon.**

 **Pi or Pie - Thank you for your review :) I'm glad you are enjoying this and the updates are going to keep coming as I have a lot of free time at the moment :D yay!**

 **I wonder what Andy's next fear will be? oooh.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter seventeen - Done with caring

I breathe deeply through my nose. In and then back out. In … Out. I then exhale through my mouth, as if it would help with my anxiety of my next fear. I grab on the armrests of the metal chair for dear life.

"Remember, it's just a simulation," Four says quietly.

I can't help shaking my head, he's wrong. It feels real to me, mainly because it's what is happening to me in real life. My fears are now taking over my life, my nightmares now bleeding into my reality. My nails chewed down to oblivion, and dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. I close my eyes and seep into the simulation that seems all too real to me.

* * *

The sun is beaming, yet the wind is just strong enough to drift a small breeze past my face. Everything is blue, the sky and the ocean. I'm on a boat... I look around confused and find that it's not just me on the small speeding vessel; my friends are too, and Tris. Will is at the front steering, everyone else is sitting down on the wooden floor talking. I sit at the end looking into the sea. The loud sound of the motor makes my head thud, but I don't care. I watch as the propeller splashes the water, leaving it all frothy as we pass.

Suddenly, we jolts to a stop and I lurch forward.

"Here should be good," Will says, walking away from the wheel. I turn around and see them all nodding, everyone seems to know what he is talking about but me. I become slightly more concerned than I was, they all turn to me now and begin to walk over.

Each one of them look nothing like what they should, their eyes are big black lifeless orbs, and their teeth are pointed daggers. My heart quickens, and I grab onto the edge of the boat that begins to tip slightly with the added weight of the others.

"Hey, g-guys… wha-what -" Before I can finish, they grab my bare arms; their fingernails dig into my skin so hard that I let out a yelp. "Ow, you're hurting m-me," I give out a nervous laugh and try to get loose from their grip, only causing me to get scratched.

"You don't belong here, Andy." Will is so close to me, that I can feel the warmth of his breath on my face.

 _I don't belong here? Where? In the boat or in Dauntless?_ My breathing becomes slightly labored and my arms feel as though they're deprived of blood flow as their nails dig deeper.

"We don't want you here," Christina sneers, kicking my leg with her booted foot. She's different, this is not Christina; she no longer has her soft smile and kind brown eyes. This is not real, I tell myself, but not matter how many times I do I can't seem to make myself believe it.

"W-wait, what d-did I d-do? I-I can… could -" I hiccup, the blood pounds in my ears and my heart thuds against my tightly constricting chest. I can't breathe, I gasp for air which only makes it worse as I fight the urge to cry. I need to calm myself… this isn't real.

"You don't get it do you? We don't like you!" Will grabs my hair and yanks me forward, staring me in the eyes. My vision is becoming blurred with the tears that are now threatening spill from my eyes. I begin to sob; loud, convulsive gasping noises escape from my throat no matter how hard I try to stop them they just become more severe.

"Oh, stop your crying, coward!" Will pushes my head back and lets go of my hair, the feel of his hand still lingers on my head.

"We only tolerate you because you're Tris' brother."

Tris sneers. "You ruin everything, why can't you let me be happy without you?"

"I'm s...s...s…" My words get caught at the back of my throat, my tongue is refusing to take part. This only causes more salty water to stream down my already soaked cheeks.

"Well, I think it's time that we should all be happy without you… I hope you can swim." Will smirks, and nod over to Al who hoists me up by the arms.

"Nuh-no. N-no...Puh-lease," my body splashes against the water, the cold doesn't help with my irregular breathing pattern right now. I wade my arms through the water as I try to keep my head up. The boat starts up again and the pressure of the propeller sprays me with icy liquid. I wave my arms; panicking. Splashing only causes me to lose valuable energy, so I stop they're not coming back so why try.

I don't care anymore. I stop struggling and let the current of the sea take me down. _This isn't real._ I slowly begin to sink, water now sits heavy in my lungs, but I don't care. _Coward!_ My vision is blurred and I feel so heavy that I sink lower and lower into the abyss of the ocean. _This isn't real._

 _Coward!_

Black. Darkness and silence.

* * *

I'm back in the room coughing and spluttering, Four stands by the computer just staring blankly at it. I wipe my eyes and run my shaking hands through my hair, trying to make sense of it all.

"What the hell was that?" Four turns and narrows his eyes at me, I try not to look at him. What does he mean?

"What?" I snuffle and wipe my eyes again.

"You just let yourself drown!" … Is that bad? What else was I meant to do?

"So?" I eventually regulate my breathing.

He shakes his head, folding his arms. "That's not right," he doesn't say why, not until I demand to know.

"How? Tell me!"

Four sighs and comes closer to me, kneeling next to the chair. "You're divergent, aren't you." I gulp, shaking my head.

"Wh-what's that?"

He slams his hand against the armrest. "Don't play dumb with me, I knew something was slightly off about you."

My heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest. "I don't kn-know what -"

"Listen, I'll delete the footage just this once. Now, unless you want to be found dead at the bottom of the chasm, then I suggest finding a way that your divergence can't be detected in simulations… You got that?" He grabs my arm, lifting me up and pushes me out of the room. "Now, if you'll excuse me," he slams the door.

What just happened? He knows…and he's deleting the footage? Why? A sudden realisation washes over me… is he divergent too?

* * *

The decision has been made that I can't talk to anyone here. Either they won't listen, or don't care. The only two people that know my secret are; Four and … Kendry and right now no one can help me other than him.

I need to know why being divergent is so bad.

I don't care. I don't care that I am leaving the compound without permission and supervision. I don't care if I get caught. I need to see him.

I walk past the Pit to the exit and take the next train to Erudite.

Waiting in the train car, gives me time to think about things. About Tris. About my fears. About today's fear. The fear of being unwanted… the fear of being alone. Maybe if I wasn't such an idiot… If I was braver… If I belonged. Then maybe I wouldn't be feeling so terrible. Maybe then Tris would talk to me and Christina would maybe even… _like_ me.

Sighing, I shake my head from my thoughts and notice that I am almost outside of Erudite. Only now realising how on earth I was going to find Kendry in there. The train dips slightly and begins to slow, I jump with my legs shuddering from the impact I take a few running steps to regain my balance.

Right, if I were Erudite where would I be? Erudite - knowledge and what is more knowledgeable than books; Library. I would assume that they keep records of who is actually in the library, I mean surely they have to sign books out, all I have to do if find a list.

I feel a knot in my stomach as I pass everyone wearing blue… the colour of the sea. A little remind of today's fear of being tossed in the ocean by people who don't want you, brilliant.

Shelf after shelf of books line the room from beginning to end; then again this is what this building is made for.

People stare at me as I walk through the door, they give me the evil eye.

I groan when I see a lady at a desk in the front entrance, looks like the list would be on the computer that is so close to her face, it almost looks as if she were trying to merge through it.

"Excuse m-me?"

"Hmm, what do you want?" She doesn't even look up from the screen.

"Well, uh, I w-was wondering if I c-could find Kendry here." I tap on the desk.

"I am not permitted to give out any personal information to strangers," she looks up, her glasses almost slip from her narrow nose.

"Look, he's my fr-friend and I would appreciate it if you c-could help me find him." I tap harder on the desk, becoming more impatient.

"Sir, I am under strict rules to not give out -"

I slam my fist on the desk making her flinch. "I said I am looking for Kendry, do you know where he is!"

"Andric?" It's a whisper, but I hear it. Kendry. I turn and see him, I almost gasp he looks terrible. The purple circles under his eyes are bigger and a deeper shade. Does he even sleep? That's not the biggest concern though; he's a lot thinner than when I last saw him, he looks so frail.

He nods over to the lady at the desk. "I can handle this, Lisa," he walks me over to one of the tables in the corner with his arm around my shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, his tone is hushed, almost silent. He takes his arm from around me and places himself in the nearest seat.

"I...I needed to see you," I say, taking the seat opposite him. He leans forward as do I, he puts his hands flat on the table.

"What's happened?"

"One of m-my instructors knows I'm d-divergent," he places a shaky hand over my mouth.

"Shh, not so loud, Andric." He removes his hand and looks around to make sure no one heard.

I frown. "N-no. No tell me what is so bad," he gives me a worried look, then glances around.

He sighs and anxiously rolls his eyes. "I'm guessing your instructor found out from the simulations?"

I nod slowly, "what does that have t-to do with it?"

"It means you are aware, when you are in the simulation you know it's not real," he says, looking around again. "You are someone who can manipulate the simulations or even shut it down." Kendry stares straight into my eyes. "You need to be careful in Dauntless, Andy… otherwise…" he lets out a shaky breath, "...otherwise you'll get killed."

A weight settles heavy on my shoulders, my palms become sweaty and I can feel the blood drain from my body.

"So, wh-what you're s-saying is that I'm going to d-die," I give out a harsh laugh; harsher than I wanted it to come out.

"No, I'm just saying that it's dangerous if anyone else finds out about you, especially since you're Dauntless…" He is silent for a moment. "I just don't want you to get hurt, Andric," his blue eyes are gentle and sad.

"How d-do you know I'd g-get killed?" Kendry doesn't answer, he's like a tortoise; trying to sink his head right down and into his shirt. He's avoiding the question, I sigh. "Please, Kendry," he instantly lowers his gaze.

"My...My younger sister Mandy… She… She was divergent," he whispers the last part, leaning in slightly. "There was hardly a year between us… We had both agreed that no matter what our results were from the test that we would both choose Erudite, yes it's not allowed but we agreed that." He takes a deep breath before he continues. "I chose Erudite… She did not… She chose Dauntless, Mandy came to visit me once or twice a week knowing it was against the rules, but she did it anyway. Advice and guidance is what she said she needed from me, she told me that her test result was inconclusive and that she didn't get a clear reading of her result; that she was divergent."

I stare at him, his eyes become glazed as he relives the memory of his sister.

"She never told me way she chose Dauntless… maybe she just wanted to be free, I don't know." He plays with the cuff of his sleeve, turning the edges up then back down again.

"She was doing great… then the simulations started and great turned to brilliant… much better than her fellow initiates. One initiate in particular didn't like the way she was whizzing through the simulations better than him, Eric I think his name was…"

I swallow hard, just hearing his name makes my spine shake. I glance at Kendry; his face is drained and I can tell just by hearing his voice that it is hard for him to talk about his sister.

"Anyway, she was found dead in the bottom of the chasm two days before her final test…" He quickly wipes his eyes and lets out a weak laugh. I glance away to give him… ' _Privacy.'_

"I'm sorry, Kendry." I don't know what I would do if something like that happened to Tris, I haven't lost her completely, but if it carries on like this I don't think I'd be able to cope with the grief.

"...Why Erudite?" I ask, he looks up slowly and gives me a sadden smile before he answers.

"My mother, she was Erudite… She died a year after Mandy was born. I suppose we always wanted to feel more connected to her and I just thought Erudite would…" He trails off, looking embarrassed. "It's silly, I know-"

"No. N-no it's not," I say, a little too loud that causes unwanted attention from a few passing Erudite. Kendry smiles shyly, turning his head from my view.

We talked for a few more minutes about how to prevent me from getting caught out again, and that he would always be there if I needed to talk to him.

He walks me to the exit, as I am about to leave he calls me.

"Andric, will you do something for me?" I nod, a little confused.

His face is sad yet serious. "Stay away from the chasm, will you do that?" Without even thinking about it, I find myself nodding again.

The train ride back is slow, which I'm grateful for it gives me time to think things over. I let the cool breeze hit my face, I know that when I get back I'll probably be in trouble, but I don't care. For now I just enjoy the freedom and wait until I feel the car begin to slow down.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Well… this chapter took me a lot longer to write than I thought it would :/ but hopefully you guys enjoyed it. Thank you for reading!**

 **Leoking104 - I'm sorry you think that, but if you don't like this story then in the nicest possible way, I suggest that you don't read it.**

 **Cloudoffeathers - Aww, that means a lot thank you so much :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for your review :)**

 **Saltonwounds - Hi, updates are going be more frequent now… I hope ;) Thank you for your review!**

 **Oh my - Aw, I'm glad you think that, thank you so much :) and thank you for your review.**

 **I'mdivergent - Hey there, those were very good thoughts on what his next fear maybe :) I hope I made it good and interesting enough. Thank you for your review :)**

 **Pi or pie - Hello, I'm so glad you are enjoying this story! Hopefully Andy and Tris will sort things out soon. Thank you for your review :)**

 **Guest - I'm glad you think so :) Thank you for your review.**

 **Hopefully, if things go to plan then the next chapter should be up soon!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Very sorry it took so long to update this, life has been very stressful at the moment, but hopefully the next chapter shouldn't take that long to be posted :)**

* * *

Chapter 18 - I can handle myself

I have been sitting alone in the same spot for at least half an hour. The corridor I am sitting in is a one that I have never been in before. Dark, and quiet a perfect place to hide when you're as depressed as I am right now. It has already been four days since I spoke to Kendry… no one seemed to notice that I had left... It has been five since the kiss with Christina, and there is still no sign of her acknowledging me.

Anyway, since then, Erudite has released two more articles about Abnegation. The first article accuses Abnegation of withholding luxuries like cars and fresh fruit from the other factions in order to force their belief in self-denial on everyone else. Reading it made me think about Visiting day, when Will's sister accused my mother of hoarding goods. It made me sick to think that the factions are turning on Abnegation, the most selfless faction is being targeted for apparently lying about their selflessness.

The second article discusses the failings of the choosing government officials based on their faction, asking why only people who define themselves as selfless should be in the government. Its seems as though it promotes to the democratically elected political systems of the past. I suppose it does make some sense, Erudite have the answers, but if they run for government it will only call for a revolution which would make everything worse, not just for Abnegation.

As troubling as the articles are, I have managed to keep myself distracted with throwing knives that I stole from the training room, I throw them at various objects; mainly walls, muffins and other small targets - still haven't accomplished one hit with my eyes open though, I still try. Throwing the knives seem to help me forget that my life's falling apart around me; Tris ignoring me, Christian avoiding me, and Four staring at me every five seconds making sure I'm not doing anything to make anyone suspect that I'm divergent. But as things are going I could have the word tattooed to my forehead and I guarantee no one would take a second glance.

The knives are my friends, they let me concentrate on nothing but myself. I have faced four more of my fears in the past four days, each one different than the last. In the first one I was trapped in a big black box, no windows or doors, alone. In the second, Tris and I were tied together back to back as a large saw came toward us. Third, was where I was being chased with nowhere to go, the road just kept getting longer. These were fine, I managed to keep a sane mind after those, but the fourth fear got to me; badly. Tris and I dangled from the edge of the chasm and our grip slowly slipping, Christina had to choose one of us to save, based on who would be a better asset to Dauntless… it's not hard to guess who she chose.

Four says I'm improving on hiding my divergence, but I can tell that I'm not doing as well as he wants me to.

* * *

Today the simulation was more intense, more direct; a mirror in a dark room, suddenly lights beaming from the ceiling and I stare into the mirror, only it's not my reflection I see. It's Tris staring back at me with a gun in her hand, I look to my own; black, heavy metal rests in my palm, fingers lingering on the trigger. It's me or her.

I shoot and the mirror shatters.

When I wake, my breathing is uneven. The confusion of the simulation melts my mind, did I kill her or was the mirror a metaphor of some sort? When I fired, the mirror shattered… it didn't actually shoot Tris. By shooting my own reflection, did I kill myself?

I stay silent, rubbing my jaw anxiously. Four turns from the computer, his arms are folded. I let out a shaky breath.

"What does it m-mean?" I ask, my hands shake as I brush them through my hair.

Four leans himself against the wall, he tilts his head slightly. "I can't tell you what it means, if I did you wouldn't be able to overcome it. You need to figure it out for yourself."

My mind is all over the place when I leave; they aren't real, I am aware during them, but they leak into my life and I don't know how I can control that. Every fear so far has involved Tris. Is that normal? Should she be taking over my simulations and my reality? Why am I the one feeling guilty when it's her that seems to neglect my every move. Is it bad that I am regretting changing factions? Maybe if I had just stayed in Abnegation there would have been no need for Tris and I to fall out, yes she would still have chosen Dauntless, but at least we would have parted on good terms.

Before I open the dormitory door I take a few breaths to calm myself. I expect to find everyone to be either laying on their beds, or staring at nothing like they did the day before. Instead everyone of the initiates are standing, grouping together in the other end of the room. Eric is standing in front of them with a chalkboard in his hands, which is facing the other way so no one can see what has been written on it.

I slowly walk closer to the crowd, the knife tucked in the side of my boot makes a dull tap as I do so, the handle digging into my leg. Adjusting the knife to a more comfortable position, making sure no one notices. I then standing next to Al; the only person that doesn't seem to dislike me right now.

"What's happening?" I ask, quietly.

Al lowers his head slightly to reach my ears and whispers. "It's stage two rankings."

Rankings? People don't get cut after stage two, do they? As if he could read my mind Al says…

"No one's getting cut."

I nod relieved and look up seeing the back of Tris's head as she nods to Will.

Just the sight of the board in Eric's hands makes me feel all queasy, I just know that as soon as he turns the board that I'm going to be disappointed. He lifts it above his head and hangs it on the nail. When he eventually steps away, the room falls silent. I swallow hard before looking at my fate.

My name is placed second. I did a lot better than I thought. Tris's name is in the first slot, and with that being said everyone suddenly cranes their necks to get a good look at the both of us. I suddenly feel a lot more self conscious with everyone's eyes burning into me.

I look at the board again, Peter is third and when I notice the time placed against his name the gap between our times are obviously ranged wider.

Peter's average simulation time is eight minutes. Tris's time is two minutes, forty-five seconds and mine is three minutes, thirty-two seconds.

"Nice job, Tris," I hear Will whisper.

I am unable to remove my eyes from the board in front of me. I know I should be glad that I'm in the second slot, but I know that it's not going to bode well for neither me nor Tris. She is the new Edward so to speak, and I'm… I'm where Peter once was.

It hits me that the only reason that I have done this well is because I'm different… Because I'm divergent. I glance at Tris, she has to be too, there's no doubt about it now.

"Well done," Al mutters,pulling me out of my thoughts. Turning to him I notice that his face is just as unenthusiastic as his comment.

"Thanks, you t-too…" I search for his name on the board; last place. I immediately screw my eyes shut for being a moron.

"Yeah…" Is all he huffs before wandering over to Will and Tris.

Great.

I'm divergent and an idiot.

The crowd around the board slowly starts to break up, leaving Peter, Tris, Will, and Al standing there, while I hover around behind them still staring at my name.

Only one person has congratulated me and I screwed that up.

I glance around the room and see Christina lying on her bunk, she notices me and quickly looks away. Sighing, I turn back and note that Peter is rigid; the muscles in his body tighten and his face contorts into a scowl of hatred. He goes to walk over to his bunk, almost knocking into me. He stops halfway turning around and pushing Tris against the wall behind him, pressing down hard on her tiny shoulders. He backs her up against solid brick, holding her firmly.

"I will not be outranked by a Stiff," he hisses and then whips his head around to me, his glare becoming darker. "Two Stiffs!" facing back to Tris he slams her back to the wall again. "How did you do it, huh? How the hell did you do it?"

My hands clench into fists making my knuckles pale, and I feel a bubble of rage pop inside my stomach.

"Leave her alone," I say striding over to him and grab him roughly by the collar, dragging him from her.

"Only a coward bullies a little girl," Will says moving closer to face Peter. A feeling of unease washes over me, palms sweating and I bite the inside of my cheek. That is all Peter is; a coward, that's all he knows. He thinks he's a big man, picking on someone smaller...weaker than he is, he picks his targets wisely, a way to make sure he can always win. That's why I ended up beaten to a pulp, yes, I'm not exactly the best at fighting, but I try.

Being a coward is not an option for me now. Walking away is not an option.

"A little girl?" Peter scoffs, yanking his shoulder forward, releasing my grip that I had on him. "Are you blind, or just stupid? These two are going to edge you out of the rankings and out of _Dauntless_ , and you're going to get _nothing_ , all because they know how to manipulate people and you don't. They make you feel sorry for them so you won't suspect a thing. So when you figure out that this so called little girl and this freak of a Stiff are out to ruin us all, you let me know."

Peter turns to leave, but before he can I yank him back by the shoulder to face me. My mind is slightly cloudy, and I'm not processing any kind of rational thought, it's only when my knuckles crack against his nose that I realize what I'm doing.

Drew comes forward as if to take a hit to me, but Peter raises one of his hands to stop him. Peter stares at me, eyes dark and menacing. I expect him to punch me back but he doesn't. He gives out a sardonic chuckle, "I didn't know you had it in you, Stiff." He wipes the stray bit of blood that drips from one of his nostrils.

"Get out," I say, my voice strained.

"Aw, is the wittle Stiff angry?" My lip twitches.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, "he's not worth it, Andy." It's Will.

"Now, if you don't mind I have much better things to be doing than beating you up, Stiff. Remember the last time you tried to be brave?"

I lower my head, I remember. I still have some of the bruises.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Snorting, Peter leaves the dormitory with his two cronies following suit, letting the door slam shut behind them.

I shake Will's hand off my shoulder and stride over to my bunk, lying down with my back facing the door. My knuckles are red and a tad swollen, I gently graze my thumb over them. I punched Peter.

After a few minutes of silence Will speaks. "Is he right?" He pauses, "are you trying to manipulate us?"

"How on earth would I do that? I'm just doing the best I can, like anyone else." Tris says.

I hug my pillow, the only comfort that actually seems to help. Is this what everyone thinks? That I just manipulate them? That my friendship means nothing? That I'm nothing but a lying, and manipulative monster that no one listens to anyway.

I'm clumsy and can't always walk in a straight line, but manipulative, no.

That's the one think I couldn't be.

"What about you, Andy?" It's a whisper, I hear Will's footsteps approaching. I turn around and sit up on the bed.

"If you r-really think I c-could do something like that, then you d-don't know me very well, Will." I get up and lightly push past him to get to the door, ignoring his gaze.

* * *

The cold hallway I was in this morning is starting to become a comfort zone, I'm back in it, sitting on the concrete floor wishing for it to open up beneath me. Resting my head against the stone wall I close my eyes.

Have you ever felt that no matter what you do, it's never good enough? Like when you try to fix something it always ends up even more broken? That's the feeling I feel right now, not sure if there is a name for it but that's the only way to explain what it is. Is it because I'm divergent? Is it because I can't fit into just one category? Though, I know that even if I wasn't divergent I would still not fit in somehow. I guess that's just who I am.

"Hey, Ric!" It takes me a moment to realise that it is me they are talking to. I look up and see that Lynn is running toward me.

"Congratulations by the way," she says, now standing in front of me.

"How d-did you know?" I raise a brow, skeptically.

"Your sister told us," she nods down the hall; Tris, Uriah and another girl stand there waiting. "You look like you need cheering up, Uriah is gonna shoot a muffin off Marlene's head if you wanna watch…" I shrug, Lynn frowns and grabs my hand, pulling me up from the floor; she's stronger than she looks.

I try to hide the small smile the creeps up on my lips.

"C'mon, it'll be fun." Lynn leads me down the hallway to the others, we walk for a while Tris at Uriah's side with Marlene on the other, I stay behind with Lynn.

"Why is he g-going to shoot a muffin off her head?" I ask, Lynn smirks.

"Marlene, bet him he couldn't aim well enough to hit a small object from one hundred feet…" She pauses and smiles, staring at the back of Marlene's head. "He bet her that she didn't have the guts to stand as a target…"

We enter the training room and Uriah flicks on the light switch. It's the same room that I first fired a gun, nothing has changed since I had been in here; tables with guns at one end of the room and targets at the other.

"They just keep these lying around?" Tris asks, roll my eyes they wouldn't be stupid enough to do that, I bet they're not even loaded.

"Yeah, but they aren't loaded," Uriah says pulling at his shirt. Thought as much.

He pulls out a gun from his waistband, dropping his shirt. "Okay," he says. "Go stand in front of the target."

Marlene walks away, practically skipping.

"You aren't seriously going to shoot at her, are you?" Tris asks.

"It's not a real gun," Lynn says quietly. "It's got plastic pellets in it. The worst it'll do is sting her face, maybe give her a welt. What do you think we are, stupid?" I can't help but chuckle at her remark, only to get a look off Tris.

Marlene is at the target; muffin placed gently upon her head. Before Uriah can fire, Marlene stops him and picks a bit on muffin off and plopping it in her mouth. I laugh, she gives Uriah a thumbs up.

Lynn, Tris and I talk about rankings, but when Lynn brings up my old faction i wonder over to the table of guns. Just bringing up my old faction makes me have a deep sadness wash over my body.

The black metal death machines lay scattered across the table. Is this where Kendry got the one he gave me from? If so, there's a chance that it is not loaded and I may have to invest in some bullets just in case. I remember when he gave it to me, he said he had a feeling that I might need it… but why? For an Erudite, it's not something I thought he would have done; stole a gun, hide from cameras to give it to me. Does he know something? If so what? I've already spoke to him not long ago, but he didn't say anything about the gun, or why he gave it to me… I might have to bring it up when I see him again.

Tris is talking with Uriah and the others, how can she find it so easy? She was born to speak, born to ask questions in a faction that thought it was too selfless to want to know things. I on the other hand was not, I want to know things, I want to ask questions but find it hard to.

I sigh and slowly walk back over to Lynn who is now talking with my sister about Four and Eric on how they rarely agree on much. From what I have seen, is that Eric doesn't exactly follow the Dauntless manifesto, and maybe Four tries his best to.

The door opens; a girl and a boy that I haven't seen before walk through in front of Four. They look like they are a similar age to Four, due to the resemblance to Lynn I assume that the girl is her older sister, I notice this with Uriah too and assume that the older boy is his brother. They walk in just as Uriah was about to take another shot at the target. The plastic pellet bounces from the center of the target landing on the floor with a slight roll.

"I thought I heard something in here," Four says.

"Turns out it's my idiot brother," says the other boy who stands next to Four. "You're not supposed to be in here after hours. Careful, or Four will tell Eric, and you'll be as good as scalped."

Uriah wrinkles up his nose at his brother and reluctantly puts the pellet gun away. Marlene crosses the room, taking bites out of her muffin, and Four steps away from the door to let us file out.

This is the moment I feel lonely again, leaving them. Alone scares me, but when I'm alone with my own thoughts scares me more.

Tris is last to come through the door. I need to talk to her, I need her to know how I feel, need to make everything better. I flex out my fingers, my knuckles are blue and purple. Punching Peter was probably not the best option, but talking to him wasn't one either. Perhaps me punching him makes me just as bad.

"C'mon, Ric," Lynn says tugging my arm.

"Yeah, I just -" Four stops Tris and whispers something to her.

"You don't wanna interrupt them…"

I look at her confused, "what?"

"Looks like they're having a thing…"

"A th-thing?"

She chuckles and rolls her eyes. "C'mon, she'll catch us up."

* * *

When Tris catches up I pull her to one of the side hallways.

"What is Andric?"

 _Andric?_ Weird, well at least she remembers my name.

"I n-need to ta-talk to you…"

"If it's about what happened in the dormitory with Peter, I could've handled it." She folds her arms and stares at me.

"What?"

"I didn't need you to punch him for me, I can handle myself." I narrow my eyebrows, is she being serious?

"Hold on, the l-last time something like that happened you called me an… an idiot for not doing anything. You've been ignoring me ever s-since."

"I haven't been ignoring you," she drops her arms to her sides.

"Yes you have… everybody has and I d-didn't punch Peter for you. I thought that if no one sticks up for me I should at l-least stick up for myself." I frown and she just stares at me, I don't know what she is thinking but I don't care.

"You've been ignoring me and I don't know why, I kissed Tina and she is ignoring me, Will thinks I'm trying to manipulate him out of Dauntless and I've messed up with Al. Everyone h-hates me!" my voice is brittle, but I try to keep it from cracking.

"Tina? You kissed Christina?" That's all she can say? That's all she cares about?

I squeeze my eyes shut, remembering the brutal feeling of rejection. "Yes, I did… but- but that's not the point. The point is that you can do no wrong, everyone likes you; you f-fall down they pick you back up and dust down your knees. You m-mess up, you say sorry and they forget about it. Do you know what it feels like to be your spare? Mom and Dad they have Caleb who is their pride and you're their joy. I'm just a b-burden. To everyone. They like me, they get bored and then l-leave." I quickly wipe the tears from my cheeks.

"Andy…" She places a hand on my arm but I shake her off.

"You might think you can take c-care of yourself, but it's harder than you think, Tr-Tris."

"Andy wait."

I quickly leave and hide in the bathroom locking myself in one of the stalls. I sit on the toilet seat with my knees tucked to my chest trying to stifle a sob. She has no idea what I have gone through, how I feel. I don't know what to do…

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading :) reviews are welcome.**

 **emki laila - Thank you for you're review! Hope you liked the chapter :) I understand what you mean, school can be hard and people can be cruel :( glad it got better for you though :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hey guys, here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy :) sorry that it's a little short, but hopefully the next one is longer.**

* * *

Chapter 19 - Doing pretty fine

I never made it to the dormitory… I guess I just kind of fell asleep against the side panel of one of the bathroom stalls, which is probably why my neck feels like it has been folded in half. Squinting my eyes to check my watch, I groan it wasn't even a reasonable time to be awake… and in a bathroom.

Remembering why I was here in the first place was because the chat with Tris didn't exactly go according to plan, not that many things seemed to. Rubbing my eyes and lifting myself off of the toilet seat, I stretch out my back that makes a crunching sound as I do so.

My eyes feel heavy and swollen when I blink, maybe because I cried a river last night, and I suppose rubbing them is going to do them much good either. I need sleep. Real sleep, and I'm not going to get any sitting on a damn toilet seat.

I yawn and decide to follow through my decision of returning to the dormitory for some rest.

The corridor is quite dark, only to be dimly lit by small lanterns that hang from the rocky edges of the dried concrete. As I pass the bottom end of the hallway, voices catch my attention, circling back I hide behind the rocky structure and listen.

Their backs face away from me, and it's too dark for them to see me if they even turned around.

"So far there haven't been any signs of it yet." It's Eric. Signs of what?

"Well, you wouldn't have seen much of it yet," a cold, female voice says… wait, I've heard that voice before, but where? Why is it so familiar?

"Combat training shows you nothing. The simulations, however, reveal who the Divergent rebels are, if there are any, so we will have to examine the footage several times to be sure."

Just hearing the word 'Divergent' coming from her lips doesn't sound good at all. I lean away from the wall slightly, to get a glimpse of who the woman is, but it's no use; it' too dark.

"Don't forget the reason I had Max appoint you," the voice says. "Your first priority is always finding them, Always."

"I won't forget," says Eric.

A lump drags its way up my throat. They are hunting Divergents, but why? What is so bad about me that I need to be stopped? A shiver runs down my spine, whoever she is, she's the one who is in charge of this whole thing; stopping the Divergents. Why else would she have Eric be one of her appoint-ee's if she didn't think he was capable with the responsibility to help her carry out her plan? The plan to kill me and others like me… Like Tris… I hide just in time as they turn in my line of direction, turning the corner.

Sighing quietly in relief, I shift to make a move for it, when I hear something coming from the other end of the hall. It was kind of like a muffled scream… but why would… a million thoughts flood through my head. Who did that muffled scream belong to, and why were they screaming in the first place?

I take advantage of the dark; creeping carefully up the corridor and along the walls to avoid being spotted.

"Ow!" A rough voice cries out, obviously in pain.

"Shut up and keep her mouth covered." It takes me less than a second to realize who that high and clear voice belongs to. _Peter._ My body drains from all kinds of warmth it once had, what is he doing? And who is he talking to?

I hear the person struggle; their feet scuffing against the hard concrete ground, the sound of slapping, and the aggressive shuffling as Peter and two others drag the person away. They don't scream. They don't make a sound.

My brain processes everything that I have just encountered. The only time Peter had done something similar, was when he was jealous… Of Edward for being ranked first. Oh, God. Tris!

He had my sister.

"Wonder what it sounds like when a Stiff begs for mercy." Is all I hear, before running in the complete opposite direction.

I hear her scream and my heart stops beating.

" _I can handle myself."_ I stop in my tracks. That's what she had said yesterday. She could handle herself. My stomach twists, should I help her? What am I thinking, of course I should. She's my sister! My twin. She'd do the same thing for me, right? She needs me. I can't leave her, but I can't fight three people on my own either. With a shaky legs I sprint over to the control room. I need to find Four.

* * *

I bash my fists against the control room door until they're nothing but blood and bone. "Four! F-four!" Sweat treacles down my forehead and the back of my neck. The tension in my chest tightens. Where the hell is he? Why isn't he answering the door?

The entrance to the control swings open, Four stands carrying a cardboard box with both hands. He stares at me with narrowed eyes.

"Shouldn't you be in bed, and not roaming the compound?"

As soon as he speaks it's as if I have forgotten how to use my mouth. Breathing shaky and stutter worse than ever.

"Tr-tr-"

Four raises a dark brow and lowers the box so he can see over the top of it. "Tris?" He asks and I nod eagerly, surprised at how easily he got that from me struggling on the 'Tr'. He tilts his head slightly and frowns, he stares as I fight to get the next word out.

"Tris is in trouble?" I sigh in relief as he pieces the fractured sentence together. He drops the box of wires and grabs me by the vest bringing me close to him.

"Where?" Is all he says. I swallow hard and the word gets stuck. "Where?!" Four shakes me, probably thinking that the words will just fall out if he does.

"C-c-chasm!" I rasp and as soon as the location leaves my mouth, Four shoves past me without hesitation, darting down the hallway and past the Pit with me following close behind.

We make it just in time to see one of the figures running away in the opposite direction. Four hurries over to Tris who is dangling over the edge of the rail with Peter's hand around her neck. My eyes trail down the hall in the direction the coward ran in...I'm not letting them get away with this.

I feel my legs move before my brain can even process what is going on. I'm chasing the idiot that thought they could get away. The buffoon that thinks he can - I stop in the dark and damp side hallway, and hear muffled sobbing.

Stepping closer into the shadows, I can just make out the large mound on the floor. Shoulders, like mountains bob up and down, along with a few pathetic whimpers. It's Al.

The fact that he was part of this… this thing against my sister, sends anger brewing through my veins. He is my friend. He was our friend.

My fingers tingle as they curl up and into my palm.

"How could you!" I grab the material of his shirt and try to pull him up.

"I...I'm sssorry…"

"W-what were you thinking, Al?!" My voice cracks on his name. My emotions clouded, I punch him hard in the jaw. "You h-hurt her, Al. My sis-sister. You hurt Tris." I punch again and again.

He lifts up his arms weakly. "We… we were only meant to s-scare her… Peter said -"

"You're taking or-orders from Peter now?" His blood coats my knuckles, but I don't feel bad. It's his fault, he shouldn't have… he shouldn't -

"I-I was scared, Andy… I -"

"You were s-scared? Tris nearly d-d-" I choke on the word, it was all too real and to know that one of my so called friends was part of 'scaring' my sister, I shake my head and gag.

"You think it-it would've help with her gone? Al?" He doesn't respond, so I roughly knuged his shoulder.

"No… I don't know." He trails off into another sob, to where I almost feel sorry for him.

"You d-don't know? Then why, Al?" I grip him tighter. "Al, you're r-ranked last and there is no way you could... Al."

He whimpers.

"Just st-stay away from us. From Tris." I turn to leave but he grabs my arm, instinct kicks in and I swing. His nose cracks.

"Stay away, or I swear you'd wish it was you that was about get thrown into the chasm!"

Al's hand slips from my arm and he huddles into himself. I sigh and leave the same way I came, catching up to Four.

"You find Al?" He whispers, Tris is unconscious in his arms, pressing her weak head against his chest. She looked so peaceful considering what she'd been through.

I shake my head. "No," I lie, wiping my bloodied knuckles on my jeans. "I d-didn't."

Four nods, though I'm sure he's not fully convinced.

"H-how is she?" I ask, moving strands of dirty blonde hair from her face.

"She'll be fine, she just needs some rest." He says, adjusting his hold on her so she doesn't fall from his arms.

We both walk silently down the darkened corridor. I just have to get through tonight and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading :) as usual, reviews are always welcome :)**

 **See ya next chapter!**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 - Forgiveness

I stay with Tris while Four drops Drew off at the infirmary. He had roughed him up quite a bit, Drew's face was so swollen he could hardly talk.

My mind wanders to the events of what had happened last night. Peter. My blood boils just thinking of him. He is a monster and a coward. ' _We were just going to scare her'._ Well, I if remember rightly, Edward wasn't scared, he was terrified, and he lost an eye. Tris, she could have died. I know Peter, he has a certain glint in his eyes that says 'you better watch your back'. He would have went through with it. It was his hands on my sister's neck, it was him who had her leaned over the railing.

Tris stirs, she is lying in the middle of Four's bed, while I sit in an armchair that is close. There is a small purple welt on the side of her jaw, the added colour makes her face seem a lot paler than it really is. I move the small strands of hair that cover her sleeping eyes. She looks so peaceful. So innocent.

The door opens; it's Four. We both exchange grim nods and he goes into the bathroom to clean himself up. I had quickly washed the blood from my hands while he dealt with Drew. My knuckles are nothing but small cut up purple lumps. I will have to bandage them up later. I lean back in the chair, my body feels emotionally drained. Eyes keep drifting shut as I keep myself from yawning. The adrenaline has worn off, and before I know it my eyes are completely closed as my body relaxes into sleep.

About ten minutes later I hear voices, but I keep my eyes closed, pretend that I'm still sleeping to hear what they have to say with me ' _not being aware'._

"Tris." It's Four, his voice sounds quite close. "I'm all right."

"Why were you there?" I hear Tris shuffle on the bed.

"Andy came and got me. He said you were in trouble."

She is silent for a moment. Unmoving. Even though my eyes are shut, I feel her staring at me. I try not to squirm. I don't want my eavesdropping cover to be blown.

"He did?...What happened? What did you…" I can hear the sleep still in her voice.

"If Andy hadn't have got me, I don't know what would have happened…" Four trials off then adds about taking Drew to the infirmary. "Peter and Al ran… Andy went after Al, but he said he never found him… I find that hard to believe and I also find it hard to believe that you're sleeping, Stiff, I can see your eyes moving." I get a nudge to the shoulder… ' _Waking me from my sleep'._

"Wh-what?" I play it off with a groan. He was right though, if I hadn't went and gotten him when I did, Tris might not have been here talking right now. And apparently I'll have to work on my fake sleeping. I swallow hard.

Four rolls his eyes and Tris looks at me.

"Drew said that they were just meant to scare you. At least, I think that's what he was trying to say." I shift in the chair. I didn't see the end result of what Four did to Drew, but whatever he did Drew deserved it. Though, I only wish it was Peter that had gotten the beating from Four.

"He's in bad shape?"

"He'll live," he replies. Then bitterly adds, "In what condition, I can't say."

Tris squeezed Four's arm, which makes me realize how close together they actually are; a little too close. I shift in my seat again. Watching them.

"Good," Tris says. Her voice is tight, but almost cruel. Maybe even a little scary. Her cheeks flush and I can't tell that anger and embarrassment are consuming her. She's angry because of what has happened, and I suppose the reason she is embarrassed is because she was seen being vulnerable. She doesn't want to be seen as weak. I see her trying to stay strong, but the pin drops and then tears begin to spring from her eyes, pooling down her cheeks.

Just as I am about to react with my brotherly love, Four crouches down in front of the bed. He places a hand on my sister's face, skimming his thumb over one of her cheeks. I want to forget what it is I am seeing - Four is caressing my sister's face! It's so careless, it's as if they have both forgotten that I am in the room sitting only a few inches away.

"I could report this," Four says, his fingers still lingering on her cheek to my discomfort.

"No." Tris shakes her head lightly, "I don't want them to think I'm scared."

Four nods, and I see him stroke his thumb gently back and forth over her cheek-bone. I shuffle in my seat and then clear my throat awkwardly, grabbing their attention for the first time in about ten minutes. Four lets his hand fall from my sister's face, almost robotically; embarrassed perhaps.

I keep my eyes on him… he catches my gaze then quickly looks away.

Tris breaks the uncomfortable silence, for which I am grateful.

"You guys think it would be a bad idea if I sat up?"

"I'll help you…" Four and I say in unison, and I immediately turn to glare at him.

Tris laughs lightly, but I can tell it's strained. "You can both help me."

I get up and grip one of her shoulders, while Four does the same with her other one. I do this, never taking my eyes off the older man. He steadies her head and I support her back with my free hand, as she pushes herself up. She suppresses a groan, her arms shake with the weight of her weak form.

"Tris, it's a-all right. Don't ignore the p-pain… we won't judge, r-right, Four?"

"You can't hide the pain, we're here for you." I feel my mouth begin to hang open, he actually agreed… I give him a curt nod and then sit back down.

"I suggest you rely on your transfer friends for protection now," Four says. "You too Andy."

Stifling a scoff, I nod. Me relying on them isn't exactly an option at the moment; one won't acknowledge me, one thinks I'm against them, and the other tried to kill my sister. Al. my stomach churns at his name. Just the thought of him… he was my friend… our friend, I don't know what he is anymore. I trace my fingers over my knuckles, maybe beating him to a pulp seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I'm not so sure. In the long run it won't matter, but right now… I don't know. At one point during physical training, Al wouldn't hurt a soul and to think that he… that he was part some kind of hate crime against my sister, it makes my blood boil.

"The others won't be jealous if you show some vulnerability. Even if it isn't real."

I swallow hard. Vulnerability. I've been there too many times, yet no matter how vulnerable I am… no one seems to care. Maybe I'm just that kind of person that is easy to forget, blends into the background. But with Tris in this situation, it's different. Is it because I'm a guy? Is it because I'm Dauntless? When Peter beat me, no one batted an eyelid, well not everyone at least. I glance at Tris, she's still talking to Four. I take a moment to think, what if it were me that Peter, Al and Drew had decided to 'scare'. How far would their little joke have gone? It was a complete coincidence that it was me that had heard Tris's scream. If their 'prank' had gone further… would anyone miss me? Yes, maybe… I don't know.

Shaking the distasteful thoughts that plague my mind, I tune back into Four and my sister's conversation.

"You're going to want to march into breakfast tomorrow and show your attackers they had no effect on you," Four says, then add, "but you should let the bruise on your cheek show, and keep your head down."

Ah, words of wisdom. Something tells me that he has been through something similar. Maybe that's why he is telling her this… Pretend to be vulnerable, yet show them it had no effect while still keeping her head down. Four might not be as tough as he makes out to be. His behaviour that I have witnessed tonight, when he is around my sister, around Tris. He is like a totally different person.

"I don't think I can." Tris's voice holds no emotion, it's all hollow.

"You have to."

"I don't think you get it." Her face becomes slightly red. "They touched me…"

I narrow a brow. Touched her? What… WHAT?!

"They t-tou-touched you?" My eyes widen to the size of tennis balls.

"Andy, please… it wasn't the way you're thinking." I see that Four is just as tense as I am. Not in the way I am thinking? I don't know whether to be annoyed or relieved. It's not the point, they still… touched her.

I feel sick.

Four is silent, but I can tell he has something to say. The crease in his brow tightens. "I don't want to have to say this," he says, "but I feel like I have to. It is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?"

She nods.

"But please, when you see an opportunity…" He presses a hand to her cheek, tiling up her head toward him. "Ruin them."

I avert my gaze, I'm here but I don't think this is what they want me to hear. I understand now when Lynn said they were having a moment… it's now that I understand that Four cares for her.

* * *

Four had left five minutes ago… I assume to go see if Drew is still alive, to which I wouldn't care.

Since then Tris and I have been sitting in a strange silence. At one point whenever we were together we wouldn't shut up, but people change.

"Thank you…"

Turning my head slowly, I frown. "F-for what?"

"Saving me." She grabs my hand and adds, "I'm sorry that I've been distant lately, Andy. I'm sorry that I left you out. I didn't mean to." Cheeks are a little wet and the grip she has on my hand tightens.

I shuffle forward on the seat, wrapping my free hand around hers. I look her in the eyes, she looks so tired. Shaking my head I say, "You d-don't need to be suh-sorry…" she gives me a sad smile.

"I forgive you, Tris." I say, my own cheeks becoming wet.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading :)**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter twenty-one - Breakfast is served

That night I don't sleep, despite the fact that my eyes are drooping to an inch of their life. I don't go back to the dormitory. I don't stay in Four's room with Tris. Instead, I walk the compound. Endless circles of hallways that don't seem to end, some that have no opening and some that lead you to a completely different location at the completely other end of Dauntless.

I can't sleep. It's more of a choice, knowing that if I do the nightmares will start. It's an endless cycle, the nightmares won't leave. It's amazing how a near death experience can plunge your thoughts into the sea. Tris apologizing to me, the fact that she could have died I think made it easier for her to do it. And me to forgive her. Don't get me wrong, I still feel slightly off about the whole thing, but somehow I know she means it. I know that she is sorry. We're on speaking terms but I'm sure it's going to take awhile for us both to adjust to the situation, especially with what has happened. Just because she has said sorry, doesn't mean it filled in the cracks.

Though, the nightmares are more intense now, it's not just losing Tris. It's watching her die, watching her be killed. It's very distasteful. Her thin tender neck being strangled by Peter and not being able to do anything about it is not something I want to dream about.

It's getting close to 6:30 am. The halls I walk seem to get longer and longer with each step, but maybe that's just because I don't want to find an exit. Because I know that once I do, I'll hunt down Peter. Al has already took a beating from me, not sure how everything is going to pan out once they find out that I did in fact find him. I feel some guilt, but I know that he deserved what he got.

I glance down at my knuckles, they're still swollen. Sighing, I reluctantly find an exit and find myself at the cafeteria entrance. It's quiet, not many people are here yet. All of the tables are pretty much empty, except maybe a few with an odd couple of people spotted about.

Walking past the tables I go over to the one of the counters, picking up a banana muffin. I take a small chunk off and plop it in my mouth; it's sweet. I take a seat somewhere in the middle of the cafeteria, watching as it slowly fills up.

It's all quiet and peaceful until someone sneaks up behind me yelling 'roar'...In the process I let out a less than dignified squeak and drop my muffin. I narrow my eyes and turn around to see the monster that killed my muffin. Uriah stands there with a big grin plastered on his face.

"You're Tris' brother, Andy, right?" He slaps me on the back.

"Y-yeah…" I breathe, trying to recover from the force that has just set between my shoulder blades.

"Ya'know, for twins you and Tris are not alike at all."

"Maybe it's buh-because I'm not a g-girl…"

He stares at me for a moment and then laughs. "Yeah, that could be it."

I chuckle with him.

"Anyway, where is she? Never seen her all last night, she okay?"

My smile fades and he notices my shift of mood. Uriah comes around and sits next to me, head tilted.

"Andy?"

"She, uh… sh-she got attacked last n-night…" I say, biting my lip. "M-maybe you should ask her yourself when she comes in… She's a little sh-shaken up."

He offers me a small smile and nods. About ten minutes later, Christina comes in with Will, sitting on the table next to mine and Uriah's. Christina doesn't look at me, and if she does it's nothing more than awkward glances.

Will gets up and to go and get a few slices of toast for everyone, while Uriah, Christian and I sit in a weird silence. To save myself from the awkwardness, I get up and get another muffin; chocolate this time.

"You can't just live off of muffins, Andy." Will says, piling up toast on a plate.

"C-c-can if I w-want…"

He shrugs. "It's your cholesterol," he says and then walks back in the direction of where our table is. I frown and put the muffin back, swapping it for a slice of slightly burnt toast. Biting down on it I grimace, should have stuck with the muffin. Sighing, I make my way back over to the table and see that Tris is now there.

Uriah is sitting next to Tris, who is sitting next to Will. The only seat left is next to Christina, I give out an awkward breath before taking a seat and she shuffles.

"What happened?" Will says, his voice hushed, moving in closer.

I watch as Tris looks over Will's shoulder, I do the same, only then do I notice Peter sitting next to Molly. My lip twitches and my hands automatically clench themselves into fists. It takes me all my might not to go over there and make him choke on the toast he is eating.

"Peter, Drew and…," she says quietly. She stretches over for some toast, grunting from pain. "And…Al…"

"Oh God," Christina says, she shifts and her leg brushes mine. Her eyes are wide as she looks at Tris.

"Are you alright?" Uriah asks.

Tris looks away. I can tell that she is taking Four's advice about being more vulnerable than she really is. She is making herself look all small by hunching herself up. Her dull blues never staring at anyone for too long.

"Not really…" She says softly, eyes cast down.

I shift a little and take another bite out of my toast that tastes more like cardboard. I grimace and place the slice onto the table.

"But you're just…" Uriah purses his lips. "It isn't fair. Three against one?"

"Yeah, and Peter is all about what's fair. That's why he grabbed Edward in his sleep and stabbed him the eye." Christina snorts and shakes her head. "Al, though? Are you sure, Tris?"

Yes. I want to say. Yes, I saw him. Yes, I… I beat the crap out of him. But I don't, I don't say anything. I just watch how Tris sighs as her tiny shoulders hunch.

"Yeah," she says. "I'm sure."

"It has to be desperation," Will says. "He's been acting… I don't know. Like a different person. Ever since stage two started."

Al was lucky at the end of stage one. If Edward and Myra had stayed, he wouldn't be here right now, he wouldn't have made it past stage one. The fact that he is last place is irrelevant, he shouldn't have turned against his friends in the first place. He was a coward. He _is_ a coward.

"It's because he's a c-c-coward." My voice comes out all croaky, like I haven't used it in years. "He said he was s-scared and thought…" I stop talking, they're all looking at me like I am some sort of extinct animal.

"How would you know what Al had said?" Will tilts his head. "And what happened to your knuckles, I notice that they are bruised. Andy, what did you do?"

"Nuh-n-nothing. I d-didn't -"

Just then, Drew shuffles into the cafeteira. So that's what Four had done to him. He looks like he had been thrown out of a window… ten times and then pushed down the stairs five. His face is deep purple and swollen into an inch of its life. His eyes are so bruised it's hard to tell if he even has them open.

"Did you do that?" Will hisses at me, his brows narrowed.

"No, I duh-didn't."

"It was someone… I had never seen before, they found me right before… I got tossed into the chasm."

"They were going to _kill_ you?" Says Christina in a low voice. Will is still staring at me and I shift under his gaze.

"Maybe. They might have just been planning on dangling me over it just to scare me."

I swallow hard. From what Tris had told Four and I last night, they had done a lot more than just scare her. The way she said that they had touched her, still floods my mind. Anyone trying to just scare someone wouldn't try to grope and prod her, then choke her against the railings of the chasm. They knew what they were doing and it wasn't for the fear factor.

Will's leaf green eyes bare into my soul and it's starting to make me uncomfortable. Does he have some sort of a problem with me? He has been like this with me since the beginning, yet I don't know why.

"We have to do something about this," Uriah say in a hushed tone.

"What, like beat them up?" Christina grins. "Looks like that has already been taken care of." I smirk.

"No. That's pain they can get over," Uriah replies. "We have to edge them out of the rankings. That will damage their futures. Permanently."

I like Uriah. I now understand why Tris hangs around with him. He speaks the truth, he's funny and someone who seems to be very loyal.

I see Four get up, coming over to stand in between the tables. Everyone's conversations cease abruptly.

"Transfers. We're doing something different today," he says. "Follow me."

We stand, and I see Uriah's forehead crinkle. "Be careful," he tells Tris.

"Look after her, Andy," he says giving me a pointed look.

"Don't worry," I say. "I w-will."

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading :)**

 **Next chapter should hopefully not take that long to be updated... Yay.**

 **Charms - Thank you for your review, it made me smile :)**

 **See you guys next chapter.**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter twenty-two - For all I care

Four leads us out of the dining hall and along the paths that surround the Pit. I'm tailing a little behind Tris, almost as if I am watching her back. Christian is on her right, while Will is on her left.

"I never really said I was sorry," I hear Christina whisper to Tris. "For taking the flag when you earned it. I don't know what was wrong with me." I sigh and remember that day, Lynn and I were on the same team… the losing one. I remember when I shot Eric with a ten-ton of paintballs, I remember Eric telling me that I would never become Dauntless. I think it's safe to say that I am almost halfway to becoming a part of this faction for real.

"Let's just forget about it," Tris replies after a long while. It may look like she is just shrugging it off, but I can tell that the way she says it, she means something different. Maybe it's not even about the flag. Maybe it's about what they had said, about the manipulating… I know I haven't exactly forgiven them for thinking that. Thinking that I could actually do something like that to them.

We climb higher, a lot higher than I've ever been. I gulp down, trying not to look over the sides. I hate heights, they're not exactly one of my favorite things in the world. Trying my best, I try to concentrate my mind on something else. Anything else. I wonder why they make banana muffins. Do they put the chop the banana, or do they mush it all up before putting into the cake mix? This is what my mind has come to. Banana muffins.

"Pick up the pace, Drew!" I flinch out of my thoughts as Four's voice echoes down the hall. I find myself clinging back against the wall so I don't fall. Turning the slightest bit, noticing that Drew is trailing behind; like a snail with a broken shell. I don't feel for him. He deserves everything he got and more. I look around but I don't find Al, he wasn't in the cafeteria either. Maybe that's a good thing; mainly so I don't have the urge to plant my fist in his face again… is it bad that I feel this way? Should show some sort of empathy for him, even after what he has done? My brain and my heart aren't exactly reliable sources to listen to. Everytime I do, I or someone else ends up getting hurt… maybe I'm just not in the right state of mind to be thinking of this… Of Al's betrayal of my sister… Of our friendship.

Sighing, I look up and notice that we are getting closer and closer to the glass ceiling. It seems as though, for the first time in a long time the sun is visible to me. Four leads us up a flight of metal stairs that creak with each step I take. I daren't look down below me.

We walk across the glass, which is now the floor and no longer a ceiling. Making our way through a cylindrical room with glass for the walls. The surrounding buildings are pretty much caving in on themselves, and most of them appear to be abandoned.

I don't pay much attention to the two Dauntless who appear to be 'out stunting' each other. Instead, I keep track of where Four is leading us; another door. Behind it is a huge, dank space filled with nothing but graffitied walls and large exposed pipes. The only thing lighting up the room are some old fashioned fluorescent tubes with worn plastic covers over them. It makes me wonder how long they have actually been there… years… decades?

"This," Four says, his eyes becoming quite bright even in this pale light, "is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape. It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like the next time you see it."

The word 'Dauntless' is spray-painted red on the concrete wall behind him. "Through your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have all your wits about you as you go through it."

So what he is saying is that everyone will basically be like me… be Divergent in this fear landscape. I'm not sure what to make of this… weather this is a good thing or a bad thing… Though, I suppose it is a little of both. I won't be detected, yet I won't have an advantage… I'll just be playing like everyone else, thinking it is normal.

"The number of fears you have in your landscape varies according to how many you have," Four continues.

I don't even know how many fears I have… some are things that I wouldn't have thought of being afraid of. I grimace, just thinking of some of them makes me feel sick.

"I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation," he says. He had said that on our first day of training. The day he failed to pull the trigger when he had pointed the gun at Peter's head.

"That's because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body - to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one and two." He looks at me and adds, "to keep a level head." The light above him flickers, darkening the space around him.

"Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just as stage two of initiation is weighted more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understood?"

I have no idea what he has just said, but rather than asking him to repeat it, I just nod amongst the crowd of the other who are also nodding. I think for a moment… If I pass this stage with a good ranking, then maybe I have a chance at actually becoming part of Dauntless, an actual member, not just an initiate. A smile tugs at my lips, I could actually be a part of something; make something of myself.

"You can each get past an obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move on. One way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example." Four's eyes flicker to me again, and I gulp. That's what I had done, but letting myself drown wasn't the fear I was facing. "So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies to face them."

"That doesn't sound fair," Peter pipes up. I glare at him, he's talking about being fair? "What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not their fault."

Four stares at him, eyes darkening, but then brushes it off by laughing. "You want to talk about being fair?" The crowd of initiates parts in the middle to allow him to make his way toward Peter, folding his arms, and says, in a deadly tone, "I understand that you are worried, Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward."

I smirk as Peter looks back at him completely expressionless.

"So now we all know," Four says, quietly, "that you are afraid of a short, skinny girl from Abnegation." His mouth curls into a smile. Peter had it coming, and the fact that Four has put him in his place makes me feel a little better.

* * *

When we all get back to the dorm that afternoon, Al is there. I feel my hands clench into fists automatically. Will stands behind Tris, placing a hand on one of her shoulders as if to let her know that he is there and she isn't alone.

Christina is stood beside me, edging closer to Tris, eyes firmly on Al.

His face is bruised and swollen - bruised from my fists and swollen from crying. Now that I have seen him, I don't feel bad for what I have done. I don't feel like I need to apologize for my actions like he should.

"Tris," he says, voice quivering. "Can I talk to you?" Had he forgotten already? What we had talked about, that I had told him to stay away?

I'm about to interject but Will beats me to it. "Are you kidding me?" I see him squeeze Tris' shoulder. "You don't get to come anywhere near her ever again."

"I won't hurt you. I never wanted to…" He covers his face with both of his hands. "I just want to say I am sorry. I'm so sorry, I don't… I don't know what's wrong with me, I… please forgive me, _please_ …" He reaches out his arm for her, I glare at him and his arm lowers. His face is hot with tears but I don't care.

"Stay away from me," Tris whispers, but I hear it. "Never come near me again."

Al's eyes are dark and glossy with unshed tears. "If you do, I swear to God I will kill you," Tris says. "You coward."

* * *

I leave the dormitory a little after Al does, telling Tris and them that I need to use the bathroom. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, it seems all of this pent up rage has been brewing a lot longer than last night. Like I need to scream at the top on my lungs, break something - anything.

When I enter the bathroom, I'm not surprised that he is in here. Al. It's like I half expected him to be. He's by the sinks, sulking in his own self-pity.

"W-what did I t-tell you, Al?" My nostrils flare and I narrow my eyes at the pathetic excuse of a so called friend.

"I-I'm sorry, Andy… I just wanted to -"

"I told you to l-leave us alone - a-all of us." I move closer to him, despite the height difference, Al is the one cowering away. "She's afraid of you… you kn-know that? You were supposed to be our fuh-friend."

"I… Andy, I'm -"

"No, Al. You know what? Maybe if you weren't such a coward you'd… y-you'd…" Stupid stutter! I take a deep breath, not bothering to look at the mess in front of me. "You know what, you c-can go jump in the chasm for all I c-care; see how m-much of a coward you are then." I say before striding out of the bathroom and slamming the door behind me.

* * *

 **A/N: Whew, that was… interesting… The next chapter should be up soon… hopefully :)**

 **Charms22 - Hi! *waves* thank you for review - I want Peter out of Dauntless too… Stupid Peter. I'm glad you are liking it. Keep being awesome and I'll hopefully see you next chapter :)**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: I cannot apologize enough for how late this chapter is, I'm sorry. Hopefully I'm back on track and should be able to update regularly. Thank you for waiting for so long :) here is the next chapter, enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter twenty-three – Al

No matter how hard I tried, sleep never came to me. I don't know if it was instinct or something different… Guilt maybe? I'm not quite sure. All I know, though, is that my legs have decided to guide me toward the chasm in the middle of the night. It's quiet and no one seems to be around. The only thing keeping me from believing that I'm dreaming is the loud crashing of the waves against the rocks.

It's dark, and barely lit. What am I even doing here? Deep down, I feel as if somehow my gut is telling me something bad has or is going to happen… something awful, though I'm not sure what. I sigh and rest my arms over the rail, stooping my head into a sulk.

I could have lost her. Tris. If I had chosen Erudite, would all of this still have happened? No. It would have been much different. Tris and I wouldn't have had a falling out… I wouldn't have met Christina or Will. Peter… well, he would still be an ass. If I hadn't chosen Dauntless, there is quite possibly a bigger chance that Tris would have… died that night when Peter, Drew and Al dragged her over the edge. If I hadn't have gotten Four, then… Letting out a shaky breath, I let my head roll back and my eyes close. It's no good thinking about the if's and but's of this situation. That doesn't matter. It's now that matters.

Leaning forward, I let the cool air from the waves waft up to my face. The light noise of the crashing of the waves, the smell of freshness, all of this seems to make the feeling of dread disappear from my stomach and instead replacing it with a sense of calm.

My mother used to say you can find calm in the most strangest of places. I think she was right. I remember when I was in Abnegation, nothing but a sea of grey, everyone always seemed so be so calm even when they weren't on the inside. I would always find the calm in the crowd, I don't like crowds, but I would always be able to pull myself deeper into myself that I wouldn't notice that I was drowning in them. I think since I have been in Dauntless for so long, I've become quite used to them. Bodies closing in on me, their warmth, the different sense of feeling when I am around a crowd of people is strange. They seem to gather and protect. Like penguins.

I sigh and take one last look at the chasm's waves before pushing myself away from the rails. I should probably try and get at least a few hours of sleep before the sun rises.

* * *

As I make my way back toward the dormitory, my shoulder is bumped by something that almost sends me falling onto the cold ground. I hear small muffled sobs, but it's too dark to see where they are coming from so I don't bother looking, it was probably someone on their way to the bathroom or something.

"C-careful!" I say, it comes out more of a tired and annoyed grumble than anything else.

"Suh-orry." I hear a sniff and then a loud shuffle as someone large pushes past me. "I'm suh-o sorry…" I frown and rub at my face, I can't be dealing with this, I'm too tired to be bothered with whoever decided to push into me, giving nothing but a grunt in response. Pressing my palm against the wooden door, ignoring the harsh sobs and footsteps leaving from behind me, I slowly push it open and make my way into the darkened dormitory for some much-needed rest.

* * *

I'm woken by the sound of someone's voice. It's sounds almost as if they have been crying, the voice is soft and very faint, it's Christina.

"Tris," she says, voice cracking over the vowel. I untangle myself from the sheets and adjust my position in my bed, turning toward Christina and my sister. It's still dark and only a few of the other initiates are out of bed. "It's Al," Christina sniffs. "Come on."

Before I manage to process any sort of rational thought, the feeling of guilt lines my stomach once more. Dispersing like a small firework in the depths of my belly. Something bad has happened. Something awful.

I rub at my eyes just as I see Christina yank my sister by the arm and drag her out of the room.

Without bothering to put on a pair of shoes I run barefoot in nothing but my underwear and vest, reaching the Pit just as Tris and Christina do. A crowd has already formed around the Pit, people acting like vultures, everyone trying to get a look in on what is going on. Though, I can't seem to find the calm in this one. I can't seem to find calm anywhere which is beginning to make me a lot more uneasy than before.

I stand only a few feet behind my sister, but I am still able to see two men standing next to the ledge, hoisting something up with ropes. they both let out grunts from effort, heaving their weight back so the ropes slide over the railing, and then reaching forward to grab again. A huge, dark shape appears above the ledge, and a few Dauntless rush forward to help the two men haul it over.

The mass falls with a thud on the Pit floor. A sickly pale arm, swollen with water, flops onto the stone. I gulp down the lump in my throat when I realise what has happened. A body, dead on the floor, has just been pulled out of the chasm. A dead body.

I don't know why but I find myself moving closer, next to Tris, to get a better look. A few men turn the body over, causing the head to flop to the side. Eyes open wide, eyes that are now nothing but, dark, empty windows to a non existent soul. Glazed over and unfocused, dead. Their lips are bluer than the garb Erudite wear, and if anyone were to touch them, I'm sure they'd be ice cold. Their face is swollen from being submerged in water for so long, that it doesn't even look human anymore, it's beginning to resemble nothing more than a corpse creature.

However, it's not hard to guess who this body belongs to. There was only one person in Dauntless as big and burly as the body lying on the floor. Only one person that would have been coward enough to do something like this. Only one person that I had told to go jump into the chasm. _Al._ It's Al.

"One of the initiates," someone says from behind us. "What happened?"

"Same thing that happens every year," another replies. "He pitched himself over the ledge."

"Don't be so morbid. Could have been an accident."

I gulp down, mouth dry and lips cracked. It wasn't an accident. No one would be clumsy enough to 'jump' over the ledge of the chasm. No one. It was intentional, he knew what he was doing.

My mind drifts back to last night, the person that bumped into me. Was it Al? Was he the one crying last night in the hallway, was it him pushing past me to later go and kill himself? To think I could have stopped him from doing it. But I didn't, I was selfish and just wanted sleep.

It's amazing how things can change in a moment - What someone says, what they do or how they do it; it triggers a fight or flight response. Clearly, the few weeks that I have been here I've already changed a lot. At the start of Dauntless, I was nothing but a weed. I was weak and feeble, not brave at all or at least not a lot. The way I didn't defend Tris when Peter and everyone were making fun of her. The way I tried to stand up for Edward only resulted me getting beaten to a pulp. The way I saved Tris by getting Four to help and then going after Al. I shake my head, the way I beat Al into submission.

They are stages of what I have become now.

" _You know what, you c-can go jump in the chasm for all I c-care; see how m-much of a coward you are then."_

That is exactly what I had said, and that is exactly what Al has done. The pure guilt and anxiety is eating my alive, I have become an Eric, a Peter. Al is dead, and I may have been the one to push him to do it. I know it's rude to speak ill of the dead, but on some scale he kind of deserved what he got. If he wasn't such a coward, if he had just accepted the consequences he would still be alive. Yes, he would be factionless and still a coward, but he would have been a live one.

I don't watch anymore. I don't watch as they place his body in a bag. I don't watch as Tris runs away. I don't watch as Christina falls to her knees into a crying mess on the floor. Instead, I stand alone in the crowd, submerged in my own guilt-ridden thoughts.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thanks for reading :) see you next chapter!**


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